Synopsis:
"Lost years"- ' A dad's love for his daughter, he never knew. And a daughter's fight for her dad she never had."
What if Gibbs and Jack had met each other years before NCIS, before Gibbs married Shannon and had Kelly, way before everything...
Washington DC, Winter 2010.... One Fine Saturday morning....Gibbs House...
Gibbs Pov...
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Once I feel like I have got myself back together I start reading again even though the pain only seems to increase the further I read...
After days of agony and hesitation bringing up the little courage I had in me I finally made it to Stillwater. You wouldn't believe I had a whole speech prepared to say to you as soon as I met you, Gibbs. Now when I think about it I can't help but laugh. Laugh at fate!! When I got to Stillwater, it had something very different in store for me. For us... Little did I know at that time that there was never going to be an 'Us' after that trip.
I remembered you saying that your dad owned the general Store there, so I guessed that would be as good a place as any to start. But Imagine my surprise and shock when I reached the store and found the whole place in a full blown wedding mood with full decorations and guests in place. Not only did I find that you were already engaged to someone else but that the wedding was going to be held that day in just a few hours.
After roaming around that place for hours not knowing what to do, I somehow made it to the place where you were gonna get married. I still don't remember the trip to the church. It's a complete blur for me. But I remember every single thing after that. It's been burned in my memory forever. Seeing you and the woman you were gonna marry. Your future wife. I saw everything. I stood there and saw you standing in the altar. I saw the utter joy and contentment and happiness on your face.
All those years I have known you, I have never seen you as happy as I saw you on that day. And for the love of me I couldn't possibly walk in there, in front of all of those people, as a 6 months pregnant woman and say that you were the father of my child. No matter how bad I wanted to...No matter how much I felt my own heart break into pieces and melt down right in front of my eyes watching you marry another woman. I couldn't come forward... I couldn't just come back into your life again and break you all over once again. God only knew I had already done enough of breaking your heart.
I just couldn't do that to you, Jethro. No... I simply couldn't turn your life upside down like that.
I mean it'snot like I had anyone else to blame. It was all my fault. I had you but I walked away from you. I broke your heart and I broke us. I can't blame you for moving forward... Finding your happiness.... Finding love again...You deserved to be happy..
I won't lie and say it was easy seeing you with another woman. It was so painful but at the same time I could see it in your eyes that you were happy with her and that you loved her and that she loved you back dearly. That was all that mattered for me. Knowing that you'll be infinite times happier with someone else than you'll ever be with me. That another woman could give you the love and happiness I could never give you. Because if anyone deserved it, it was you. You deserved someone who would love you and cherish you and adore you for the amazing man you are. Not someone who walked away from you selfishly. I knew it in my heart that she would give it all to you. I saw it in her eyes, Gibbs. By the way she looked at you. She was the one that was meant to be. Not me... Not us... Over the years I have made my peace with that...
