The darkness of the surrounding room crushed closer, and he sat, breath coming short as a light-headed dizzy feeling spread through his entire body.
His aunt was expecting a baby.
His aunt and uncle would have a child. To Caspian; a cousin.
He hadn't really thought that they might have their own child. They'd never had children, and he had begun to assume they wouldn't.
He'd grown comfortably safe, not even thinking for a moment that it would change.
And then it had.
With that, Caspian held no worth at all, the point of his very existence in the castle being Miraz's "heir," even if Miraz wasn't king. At least, he wasn't king yet.
It was Caspian's throne, but Miraz wanted it. It was something Caspian had always seemed to know somewhere in the back of his mind but generally ignored.
Uncle Miraz wouldn't act on that- would he?
Miraz wanted the throne, and with an heir, he could take it. Caspian always comforted his uncertainty by reassuring himself that his uncle wasn't truly that awful.
Always tried to justify the things he said. But would he try to take the throne? With a son, he could.
Who would protect the rightful king, the current heir, if his protector was also his enemy?
Much as he tried to ignore it, the truth was his uncle only kept him here as he had no son. No heir.
None except Caspian.
He had a purpose. Miraz needed him.
But if Miraz had a son...
Caspian shivered, trying to push aside the panic that had been rising through the hours.
There was no baby yet.
He was still needed here, and perhaps it would be a girl. Maybe he was wrong? He didn't believe that, but he could try.
A few months, then he'd know. It was pointless to worry over what was in the future. He could figure it out then.
Shakily, he lifted his head from his knees, hair falling forward as he moved. It was late or early, by the darkness he couldn't really tell.
It didn't matter either way; everyone else was still asleep. He'd been here alone since he'd heard.
He hadn't known how to react. What to do. What to feel. It was all happiness, smiles, and joy.
It was his aunt's excitement, his uncle's pride. Their happiness. Their love. They were smiling and talking to each other, yet Caspian had seemed to freeze.
As if life stopped, filling him with numbing cold. He'd left- no one had noticed.
Hiding away from his problems as the coward his uncle said he was. He almost couldn't care right now.
Really, he didn't even know what this meant for him; for the future, but it couldn't be good.
Life certainly wasn't perfect now, not something he wished to live in forever, and still, he didn't really want it to change.
Specifically not for the worse, and this could only really make it worse. He didn't see any way that this could be positive.
As a daughter, she would prove that this lack of love, this lonely feeling of being unwanted, was because he was Caspian- not because his aunt and uncle disliked children.
Because they didn't want him. Didn't care. Beyond his name, his purpose of securing the throne, he meant nothing to them.
It wasn't a question he wondered, but a truth that he knew.
A son, though, would be the worst. Caspian couldn't even fully comprehend the reality of what that may mean. Of what could happen because of a son's birth.
What could happen to him.
He shivered again, knowing full well that he wasn't cold. He was afraid. Very afraid.
It felt as if the last spark of safety in this castle was falling away. A safety net he hadn't even realized surrounded him until it was starting to disappear.
Life would continue to move forward, as much the same way it always had- at least for a while. Until it would change
Suddenly. Abruptly; all at once.
There was no way to prepare fully. He could only wait. Wait and see. Live as if nothing had changed because nothing had. And yet, everything had, everything would.
Caspian lifted a hand, watching as it trembled, silently growing frustrated with himself. It had been hours, and still, he couldn't seem to get control over his emotions.
Couldn't calm himself down. Couldn't seem to think logically about this. Or could he? Was his fear and panic a realistic reaction?
One that made sense.
He needed to let it go. To carry on as he normally would- to convince himself nothing had changed. He simply had to keep out the fact that it would.
Caspian forced his boots beneath him, standing, willing his shaking legs to hold him, his trembling hands against the wall to steady him.
He took a step carefully, trying desperately to stop shaking. It was no use panicking about something he couldn't change, couldn't prevent.
The baby would be born, whatever that meant for Caspian, and he would have to deal with what came whenever it arrived.
But that wasn't now- now was the same.
The same life as always. The performance of a prince's life; the loneliness of Caspian's life.
Tomorrow would begin a day just like every other for him, and for that, Caspian realized he should be grateful.
He had a foreboding feeling that soon everything was about to change.
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(Narnia) Broken Pieces -Caspian X- A One Shot Collection
Fanfiction"If only he'd been a little older, then he would have his own memories. But his father and mother were gone, leaving him in a castle, surrounded by people, yet almost entirely alone. Alone without even a memory..." Short one-shots exploring Prince C...
