The Pacifist

Not Here, Not Now

Joseph

The fact that she was even capable of raising her voice in such a way shocked Joseph. He watched her, trembling with anger and the same need that he himself felt. Maybe, some innate part of her knew what he was about and wanted it. He shook the thought away. Even if she'd welcome his darker parts, it didn't make it all right.

"If it were that easy to break me, I'd have died a long time ago," she continued.

"It's not about you or how strong you are."

Rachel walked up to him and put a hand on his chest. "I'm okay with whoever you are. All I know is, you make me feel alive. And I want more."

Joseph's hand crept up to her throat and he applied gentle pressure, reveling in how fragile felt. He was both surprised and not when she leaned into his grasp with complete trust.

"I want to choke you. Make you cry. And to leave bruises on..."

"Okay," she sighed. "I told you, I'm not clueless."

With labored breath, Joseph squeezed the sides of her neck a little more and kissed her, letting his twisted fantasies burst forth. His brain frenzied as it struggled to think of what to do first. At the moment, he had nothing but his teeth and his hands. Even at home he had nothing. He refused to posses things that aided him with his depravity. But maybe this was best. He wanted his hands on her flesh with nothing else between them.

He moved to the mirrored wall, taking her with him, and trapped her between him and the mirrors. Joseph turned her around so he could press her face against them. They fogged up with her breath.

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"Because... because..." Her face heated up under his hand. "I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be."

Joseph received her response with a grunt. He kissed her just below the ear and pulled her shirt to side to expose her shoulder. Before he could convince himself to pull away and send her home, he buried his teeth into her soft flesh. Rachel cried out in surprise but still didn't try to get away, so he bit harder.

One bite. Just one good bite. But it wasn't enough. And his studio wasn't the place to continue such a thing. So he held onto her skin for a bit longer, applying more and more pressure and savoring every little cry, then let her go.

"I don't want to do this here, or now, with you."

She turned and looked up at him with a look in her eyes that was all too familiar. Glassy and far off, where so many with an appetite to feel pain went when they had their fill. "When and where?" she whispered.

"I don't know yet. I'll call you and let you know."

His words threatened the boldness she had displayed and her insecurities returned.

"I promise," he said.

She still gave him an uncertain smile and went up onto her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "Okay."