The Pacifist

Candles

Joseph

Part of Joseph wanted to go and buy a few cushions for his minimalist sofa and a few prints to hang up on the walls of his apartment. Another part wanted Rachel to see just how cold and empty everything in his life was. How empty he was. He disliked how much he seemed to care about what Rachel would think when she saw his stark surroundings. With a grunt, he decided to at least pick up a few candles. He made his way to the store and picked up a pack of tea lights and lighter.

"Planning a romantic evening?" asked the cashier. The young woman eyed Joseph, undoubtedly drawn to his subtle, but menacing, aura. He never understood why women loved his potential for destruction so much.

Joseph didn't reply and held his card ready to tap to pay.

This didn't deter the cashier. "I'd suggest scented ones if you are."

He looked her in the eyes then, and was hit with her attraction for him. Her pupils were slightly dilated, lips parted ever so slightly, and her heart rate a bit faster than it should be. "Do I look like the type to light candles for someone?"

She swallowed nervously and shook her head.

Joseph nodded curtly. "Good, go with that."

The cashier bagged the candles and handed him the bag. "Have a good evening," she said coyly, amazingly still not put off. Joseph took the bag, annoyed, and left with sigh.

On the way home, he nearly tossed the candles multiple times. He asked himself what his intention was. Was it to make her feel more comfortable? If so, should he if it was to lull her into what would most surely be a false sense of security? Or, was it so she wouldn't judge him and see him for who he truly was: a monster. Rachel scared him. She threatened all of his hard work, but, also had the ability to see him in a way no one before her had been able too.

In the end, the candles ended up lit on his single bedside table. He laid out three of his belts; two for binding her hands and ankles, and one to be used as an implement. Mouth dry with anticipation, he went to sit on his sofa and wait. He closed his eyes and meditated, desperately trying to manifest an inner calm so that he could resist his urges, or at the very least, mute them.