Shadows and Secrets

Chapter 11

I was in love with my mate. I vowed never to fall in love again, but I did. I got out of bed and threw on some clothes. I needed to get some air. I needed to get out of this house before I did something stupid like walk across the hall to where my mate slept and wake her up and tell her everything. I couldn't do that. She gained her freedom yesterday. I wasn't going to mark her feel like she had to be attached to me for the rest of her life. I didn't want her to feel like she belonged to anyone.

I flew above the city for the rest of the night trying not to think about my mate. I arrived back at the house as Cassian was coming up to the roof to go to one of the camps, where there had been reports from wing clipping. "Good morning Az." Cassian greeted.
"Good morning Cassian." I respond.
"Is everything ok Az? You look as if someone just died." Cassian asks me.
"Yes, I just need some time." I respond.
"Is it something to do with Lysabel?" He asks me, looking concerned.
"I'm not going to talk about it Cassian. I'll see you later."
"I'll see you later Az." He says as he takes off and flies towards the shield.

I walk down to the kitchen to get some food. My shadows informed me that Nesta was at the Library and Bel was in her room reading. I grabbed some breakfast then returned to my room where I had a cold shower to try and put some sense into me. I spent fifteen minutes in the shower, then I got out and put on some fresh clothes. I hadn't been told that I needed to spy on anyone and there was no one to torture, so I spent the morning in my room sharpening my weapons.

At some time around midday, I heard a knock on my door. No one else was home but me and Bel. So I stood up and walked across my room to the door. I opened it and my heart began to beat faster. I said, "Good afternoon Bel. What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if we could go down into the city and eat lunch together like yesterday." She responds.
"Sure." I say as I leave my room.

I fly her down to the city and we find some food and a bench to sit on. I sit closer to her than I did yesterday, but she doesn't seem to notice or care. I continued to eat my lunch as she told me about her childhood and how all her friends from the Court of Nightmares hadn't tried to help her when she was sold to Tamlin, and how she never wanted to see them again. We finished our lunch and then I flew us back up to house.

"Az, can I ask you a favour?" Bel asks.
"Of course. Ask away Bel." I respond. I want to help her in anyway possibly. She was my mate. I'd do anything for her.
"Can you train me in combat?" She requests. I stare at her for a moment. Unsure why she would want to train. "I want to learn to defend myself." She says as if she knew I was unsure why she wanted to train.
"Of course, but would you like me to train you? Cassian is better at training people in combat." I reply.
"Yes, I would like you to train me." Bel tells me.
"Ok. I'll train you. We'll start tomorrow. Meet me on the roof at nine and I'll see what you can do." I say.
"Thank you Az!" She cries, and hugs me. "It might seem little, but I want to be able to defend myself. I don't want to hide behind others for the rest of my life."
"It's no problem. I'm your friend, I'll help you train if that's what you want." I say as she hugs me.

She lets me go and steps back. She then walks back into her room and closes the door behind her. Tomorrow. I had until tomorrow to try and come to terms with my heart before I started to try and train her. I needed to have a clear head do I didn't mess up and accidentally tell her about my feelings or about the bond. Tomorrow, I would begin to train her. I would do anything for her. Including letting her live without the knowledge of the mating bond so she could be free.