Shadows and Secrets

Chapter 12

The next morning, I met Bel up on the roof to begin training her. She wore the training leathers I had sourced for her and wore her long chestnut hair in a plait. "Good morning Bel. Welcome to training." I say as she looks around the training arena on the roof.                         
"I can't wait to start. Thank you for agreeing to train me Az." She responds, still assessing our surroundings.
"Before we can start, we need to improve your balance. Come and stand over here and I'll see how good your balance is." I begin. I don't usually have to train others, that's usually Cassian's job. She starts following my lead as I lead her through exercises.

We stop for a break, and I walk over to the water station and return with a glass for her. "You're doing really well. You'll be able to start properly training in combat in no time. We just need to work on your balance for a little longer, then we'll begin on hand to hand combat, then we'll go onto weapons." I say as I had her the glass of water.
"That sounds perfect." She responds before taking a sip of water. "Thank you for the water."

I continue training with her for another two hours before I deemed her balance good enough to finish the session. "That's enough for now, Bel. Well done. We'll meet here same time tomorrow." I say as she walks over to where so was watching her.
"Thank you Az. I'll see you later." She responds before she walks to the stairs and vanishes back inside the house.

I waited a few minutes before following her inside. I was training my mate. I got to see her everyday without having to make up an excuse. My shadows swirled around me and told me everything was going smoothly I Prythian, I had sent them out earlier to keep and eye on things, since Tamlin was definitely angry about losing another bride. For now everything was calm.

***
Two weeks later.

Training was going extremely well. Bel had mastered her balance and we had moved onto hand to hand combat. I decided to start by teaching her how to form a fist. She picked it up extremely quickly. I made sure it became second nature for her to form a fist like that before I continued. I then taught her variations of different punches and kicks. She was a fast learner so she was ready to start sparring after only a week of practicing different kick and punches. I was impressed. But I couldn't shake the knowledge that I would have to spar with her the next day, so I decided to invite Rhys and Cassian out to Rita's that night.

"How's things going with Bel?" Asked Rhys. She had became closer with the whole inner circle, and insists on everyone calling her Bel. She also expressed to me in one of our breaks during training that she has became close with the whole inner circle and was closer to them than she ever was with her old friends from the Court of Nightmares.
"Good. She's excelling at training, and we are currently working on hand to hand combat. I have decided the we can start sparring tomorrow." I tell them.
"Have you told her that you are mates yet? Cassian asks me, before downing his drink.
"About that... I haven't gotten around to it yet, but... I may have fallen in love with her." I stutter, unsure what I should say to my friends, but I told them the truth.
"You haven't told her yet! Az, I told you that you shouldn't keep it a secret from her." Rhys exclaims.
"I know. I'm working on what my heart wants currently. I can't have it broken again." I didn't mean to say that, I should not have said that. I was meant to keep it a secret.
"Again?" Cassian questions. "I didn't think you had ever been in love."
I might as well just tell them, "It was Elain. I fell in love when I first met her. When she was refusing the bond with Lucien I thought I had a chance, then she accepted it, and my heart shattered. I vowed to myself I would never fall in love again, but I have. And I don't want my heart broken again. I just need more time to sort out my emotions before letting her know. Don't tell a soul about this. No one can know. Just give me time. I'll tell her eventually. I'm just letting her enjoy her freedom before springing the bond on her." It felt good to get it off my chest. I trusted Rhys and Cassian to keep it secret.
"Elain. You should have told us earlier. We could have helped when she accepted the bond. We'll support you with Bel, but please tell her Az, she has the right to know. You should also talk to Elain. We won't tell anyone." Rhys says.
"Thanks for listening. I'll see you later. I need to get rest before tomorrow." I say as I finish my drink and stand to leave.

I felt better now that they knew. I wasn't keeping this a secret from everyone anymore. Those two were my brothers. They wouldn't tell, but I don't think they understand. Neither of them have had the heart broken the way I have. I understand why Rhys was pushing me to tell Bel about the bond, he kept the mating bond a secret form Feyre and she wasn't too happy when she found out that he had known for months and hadn't told her, but I wasn't ready yet. I would get through tomorrow's sparring session, then I would enlist Nesta, Emrie and Gwyn to finish off training her so I could get my emotions under control.