IS IT LOVE?

SIX

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I've edited the last line of the previous chapter. (chapter 5) So check that first before reading further.

Now enjoy reading ♡

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MAITHILI'S POV:

"SLEEP TIGHT MRS. EKLAVYA SINGHANIA"

Goosebumps erupted in my body at that sentence. He left 8 minutes 27 seconds ago but I can still feel his words ringing in my ears. It seems like someone is screaming those words in there.

"Eklavya ji..." I whispered to myself just to know how his name felt on my lips. Damn! How smoothly it rolled out has my knees shaking. It's a whole new feeling. One I can never express in words. And the one I want to feel every day for the rest of my life.

I went to his room to get some sleep. This is the first time I'm going to sleep on this bed. Perhaps the first time I am entering his room. When I explored the house yesterday I left this room to not invade his privacy.

Given the way he behaved on our marriage day, I thought it was the best. That day we met for the first time. And his behavior was totally different from today. Is he bipolar or something?

Now when I think about everything, that day he wanted to ignore my presence as if I'd bite him. And today, Okay! Let's not talk about today. It still feels surreal, him looking in my eyes, holding my hand, and laying his head on my lap.

I feel those stupid butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. As I walked in the room, I saw his big portrait on the wall. The black and grey combination here too.

A bed, a couch, three closed doors, and a dressing table. That's it. And the dressing table looks new to me as nothing is there on that. It's empty.

I went to bed and lay down. It's hard to sleep. I don't know when was the last time I slept peacefully. My whole life played in front of my eyes. And again the loneliness got hold of me and unknowingly tears started flowing from my eyes.

I slept the first day I came here because I was tired and yesterday too the whole work exhausted me so I slept. But today, it is difficult.

I stood up and went to the bathroom. Stripped out of my clothes and stood in the shower. I felt the cold water hitting my body numbing me and a shiver ran down my spine. The numbing sensation spread rapidly, wrapping its icy grip around me. Each droplet felt like a thousand needles piercing my flesh, yet there was a strange exhilaration in this icy baptism. As the cold encased me, time seemed to slow down, and all my senses focused on the immediate sensation. It was as if the world had taken a pause, allowing me to embrace this moment of pure vulnerability.

I came out of the shower, dried myself, and came out. I was wearing one of the bathrobes present in the bathroom. I went in front of the mirror and saw my reflection. I was looking like a mess. Red puffy eyes, red nose, dull eyes, and tired body. I changed into one of my night wears and went to my suitcase. I've still a lot to unpack. I took out my pills and gulped down two with water.

Then I went to bed. I am feeling a little low and I know tomorrow I will be high with fever. But it's not like anyone cares. So it's okay, it will go after three or four days. I didn't realize when sleep consumed me.

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AUTHOR'S POV :

It was 3 in the morning when Maithili slept. She was in the shower for 2 hours but her pain didn't let her know this. She thought the cold shower would numb her pain and it was like her healing mechanism. But what she failed to realize is, this is not healing. This is only making her pain settle deep inside her.

The pain others gave her can be healed but the pain she is giving herself cannot be healed. She needs someone to heal that pain. But is she going to accept it? NO. Her nightmares are getting worse. And the number of pills she's taking these days is uncountable.

Being alone all these years, she slowly stopped taking care of herself. Her brain says why take medications and cure herself when nobody wants her? They don't give a fuck if she dies today.

She has seen her parents loving her sister. Pampering her to the extent that now she's a spoilt brat. They were always present for her smallest thing. So why not her? She tried everything she could do to make her parents love her. From excelling academically to assisting with household chores, she poured her heart into every endeavor, hoping to earn even a sliver of their approval. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, it seemed as though their love remained elusive, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

Despite her best efforts, she found herself constantly striving to win her parents' affection. Each night, she would lie awake, wondering what more she could do to bridge the gap between them, yearning for the warmth of their love to envelop her soul. Yet, in the midst of her efforts, she began to realize that perhaps they didn't want her.

With each passing day, the hunch of being unwanted grew heavier, weighing down her every step like an anchor dragging her into the depths of despair. It was as if a piece of her essence had been chipped away, leaving behind an emptiness that echoed with the resounding absence of parental love. In the silence of her solitude, she grappled with the profound sense of inadequacy that permeated her existence, wondering if she would ever find the strength to mend the shattered pieces of her wounded soul.

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It was 10 in the morning when Eklavya came back. He looked around the living room and kitchen for her. But she was nowhere to be found. He felt bad for leaving her alone but it was important to go. He was needed there. He wanted to know her, spend time with her, and listen to her. If not for that call, he would have not left her alone yesterday.

"Maybe she's inside the room," he thought and went to the room. He knocked on the door for her to know he was entering. He came inside and saw she was still sleeping. He looked at the clock on the wall and then again at her. It seemed odd to him that she was till this time but he shrugged and went inside the bathroom to freshen up.

When he came back it was close to 11. He thought to make breakfast for both of them as he had not eaten anything after the meal with her. Though it was past his breakfast time just to give her company he made for himself too. He made poha for both of them with some coffee.

He entered the room again, this time with the tray. His eyes went to the bed and he saw her shaking in sleep. He hurriedly placed the breakfast tray on the side table and sat on her side. He took her hand in his and realized that she was burning with fever. He saw her lips moving but couldn't comprehend what she said. He leaned in, his ears attuned to her every syllable, her every whispered fragment of thought. Like deciphering cryptic messages in a foreign tongue, he painstakingly pieced together the puzzle of her incoherent words.

The words that said

"no one loves me."
"Why I'm unwanted?"
"I want to die"

☆ ☆ ☆

Questions:

1. What is your healing mechanism?

2. Where do you think Eklavya go?

3. Why she is taking pills?

4. Have you ever felt unloved?

5. Do you want Eklavya's POV?

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That's it for this chapter hope you liked it.
English is not my first language so there can be some grammatical mistakes.
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