Short stories and scrapped ideas [1]

The Pope and Devil

It was early on a Monday morning when Father Biggums was just finishing up confession with the last man. The last man had left and Father Biggums was about to get up before a child-like, scruffy, boy walked in and sat down.

"Good morning young child. What sins do you need to confess to our lord and savior?"

"Father Biggums, I am the devil himself. I have not come to take those who have sinned nor hurt anyone." Father Biggums stiffened, his jaw slightly agape as he glanced towards the child. How could this child sitting in his booth be someone so powerful like the devil? He was so puny and not at all what Father Biggums had imagined.

"You should leave, you have no place here in my church." Father Biggums said, clasping his hands together and making a small prayer to god.

"Don't fret, I have an offer. I will take some of your hearing and in return I'll make you the youngest Pope." Father Biggums mouth opened again, such a small price for a position so powerful.

"What other agreements are there?"

"Nothing, just read the contract and you'll become the youngest Pope. I've been watching you, you've worked so hard but no one has recognized anything you've done. Personally, I think you deserve a raise in your position." The devil said in a tempting voice. The youngest Pope, he would be in power for so long. The deal was very appealing to Father Biggums. However this was the devil, how could he ever accept a deal from him without consulting a higher up? Father Biggums didn't know if the devil could be trying to trick him, but the offer was tempting and would be good for him.

Father Biggums stood up walking out of the confessional. "I have to consult Archbishop Robinson about this." The devil stood up, still a short child and followed Biggums out.

"Let us go then." With the snap of his finger they were in the church of Archbishop Robinson. He stood in front of stained glass windows, looking out upon the people and head in his own world. He turned around finding the two of them standing in his church and flinched a little.

"Dear goodness, you scared me, Father Biggums." Archbishop Robinson looked at the child standing next to him. "Why have you a child? Has he repented against the devil yet?"

Father Biggums stepped forwards as he stated his problem, "Hello Archbishop Robinson. I have fallen into temptation for the devil himself has made such a grand offer."

"And what may this grand offer be?"

"In exchange for becoming the Pope I will take some of his hearing." The devil remarked, startling Archbishop Robinson against the glass windows.

"Dear lord, is this child the devil himself?" Father Biggums nods while Archbishop Robinson stood there flabbergasted. He expected the devil to be some inhuman creature with horns, wings or a tail, not a child. Archbishop Robinson stood there for a moment more, contemplating the deal.

"Don't fall into this temptation and instead let me accept this deal." Father Biggums looks at the man-child standing next to him and back at Archbishop Robinson. Archbishop Robinson shuffles down the stairs only to trip on his robes and fall face first down into the ground, rendering him passed out. His limp, unconscious body was laying in the position of an ancient Egyptian dancing. Father Biggums gasps and turns towards the devil as he raises his hand. A black mist appears around Archbishop Robinson and envelops his body making it disappear with no trace.

"Now Father Biggums, let's discuss this preposition I've made without him." And so the devil and Father Biggums talked for thirty days and nights. By the time they were done Father Biggums was desperate to sign the contract and get away from the devil.

"Hand me the contract already!" Father Biggums finally snapped and the devil did just that. He snatched it from the devil and immediately signed his name at the bottom. He didn't want to be cooped up with this devil boy anymore.

"I have wasted a whole month with you! Send me to the Vatican now." Father Biggums squawked at the devil and he complied with Biggums demands. With a snap of his finger Father Biggums was now the Pope and at the Vatican.

Pope Biggums stood in the old Pope's robes and smiled proudly. He glanced around the room, cardinals surrounding him, until one screeched and fell to the ground. Right next to Pope Biggums laid the old Pope, his wheelchair was on him with a broken off wheel. He looked back at the cardinals and smiled at them, they were all still in shock before one ran out screaming. Then they all ran out screaming, waving their arms around and running as fast as a group of old men could run. Pope Biggums looked around confused before picking up the broken wheelchair and setting it down. Now satisfied with his position he grinned and walked around inspecting the room. He'd never been to Italy let alone the vatican. He paced around a little more, now that he was the Pope he thought of doing some public appearances. He was famous now after all.

He looked back over to the old Pope who was still on the ground, he was as hairy as a jungle but Pope Biggums ignored him. He was happy with the deal he made with the devil but something was becoming increasingly wrong. He kept hearing a constant ringing in his ear, he tried to ignore it but he just couldn't. He scratched his chin wondering where the noise was coming from. His eyes glossed over the room, for anything that could possibly be making the noise but it seemed like it was just him and his thoughts in the room. He took a deep breath trying to remain calm but it didn't work. He started knocking things over and ripping open cabinets and drawers in an attempt to find the source of the noise.

"What is this ringing?!" Biggums screamed, clawing at his ears to stop the noise from continuing but it was all for nothing. His vision blurred and he fell backwards crashing into a mirror, sending it to the ground in pieces. He stared at his reflection in the mirrors, in horror. His hair turned gray and coarse while his skin suddenly sagged like satin fabric. He shrieked and rushed toward the door leading to the balcony. Every loud sound he made didn't make the ringing stop so he hoped the sound of the crowd waiting outside would drown out the noise. With blurred vision he shoved the door open but slipped out of a stained glass window. The sound of a sickening thud turned the ringing to high pitch screaming before everything finally stopped.