Half of You

Sursh's Lake - Chapter Three*

The Luna is much less intimidating now that we've been on the road an hour or two. The air conditioning doesn't work in the truck, so she's scooped up her soft golden locks into a messy bun, and now we ride with the music blaring as she sings along. Though I still feel her power, a subtle yet strong threat, something else in her makes me want to sing along too - scream the lyrics the way she is.

She even turned down the music at one point and asked me if it was too loud; when I said it was okay, she turned it back up. I think most of all I'm just relieved that she hasn't pressured me into a conversation or forced me to discuss Matias. Though I know it was with good intentions from everyone else, I just don't want to talk about it anymore right now.

So the music helps drown out most of the distractions, and I stare out the window without a word, watching the world pass by in a blur. It's too much to bring myself to sing, so I instead settle for humming the tune of what's playing. The lyrics hardly register with everything else going through my mind. I wish I could stop, but I keep replaying the moments of rejection over and over again.

My mother's voice screaming why at the top of her lungs, asking the Luna what kind of monster could hurt his mate like that. Somehow, even though I am the one that attacked him first, she is the first to use her voice to protect me. But then, that's how this all started isn't it? Her protecting me. It's so strange to think how her choice years ago has led to these events now. Would Matias have accepted me if Raela lived? Would I even be here to wonder?

Once my focus is able to slip from the events of past days, my worry is instead focused on the future. Though the Luna is pleasant, I can't be sure the rest of the pack will be the same. To them I am nothing but an outsider. Then, maybe that's better. Maybe I won't be looked at the way I would have been back home. Maybe if I'm in another pack entirely, I can't bring more shame to my family than I already have. Maybe the whispers will die down soon enough, and everyone will move on to different news. Maybe..

Pretty soon the journey has stretched from two hours to five, then six. I'm almost asleep when the music gets turned down, and the Luna's gentle voice breaks the following silence. "We're here, Thea." The engine cuts off.

I open my eyes and sit up. Immediately my gaze is set upon a pack house more magnificent than the one back home. Light wood contrasts with a dark grey brick base, and there aren't so many windows here. Their pack crest is burned into the boards on each side of the front entrance. It's a feminine figure with her back turned, uplifting a full Moon.

There are a few cars parked here, and a few more pull up after us, but most of them split off at some point or another during the journey. It makes me wonder how large this territory truly is, as some of them seperated from us a good bit ago. The Luna and I exit the truck, and my nose is assaulted once again with the smells of so many.

It's a relief when there is not a trace of Matias here. I can breathe freely without being punished by the bond. Here, air is just air.* It hits me that I'm breathing a little too deeply, glad that the pain has lessened to where I can, for the most part, ignore it. The Luna smooths out her dress. "This is the main packhouse where you will be staying. I did not have time to send someone with word to prepare a room for you, but I'm sure we can make do." I've never had a room in the packhouse before. It always just made more sense to stay with mom and dad at the house.

"Thank you." I want to make sure that this Luna at least knows that I am grateful for her generosity. Not all packs would have taken in a newly shifted wolf at the drop of a hat; it makes me wonder what kind of pull mom truly does have with this Luna. "Of course. We're happy to have you here. Even the ones who haven't met you yet." She has a really pretty smile full of pearly white teeth, and only one of them is crooked.. I think it adds character.