Unknowing Attraction

2. Where Did The Time Go?

Time is a funny thing. If you pay attention to it, it seems to slow down to greet you, arms open, waiting desperately for conversation. When you aren't paying attention, it blows by so quickly- the only sense of knowing it has passed is the light breeze that follows as it speeds by.

Time felt like it was moving slowly as I lay in my bed, waiting for my lecture to begin. I check my phone, and to no surprise, I had no notifications. Being that I don't socialize, or interact with any form of social media, life is very quiet. Time is only an ideal, but for me, most days, it's the only way to tell that the earth is still spinning. The only way to tell that I am here, I exist. She existed.

I jump as my phone starts ringing, the tone loud and shrill compared to the serene quiet of my bedroom. I look at my screen to see the word "Seester" across the wallpaper.

My mom convinced my sister and I when we were younger that "Sister" in Spanish was "Seester" so we've called each other that, even knowing it was just our mom messing with us.

I answer the phone hesitantly, as it's been a while since we've spoken. Our last conversation didn't go too well, so I took a deep breath before a soft "hello?" escapes my lips. The sound being unfamiliar to me, which is pretty sad considering it's my own voice.

"Hello seester. What are you doing?" my sisters voice booms through the phone. She's always spoken a little louder than necessary, as she supposedly can't hear her own voice. I've always joked that for the sake of others, she should get hearing aids.

"I'm waiting for my lecture to start. What are you up to?" I ask, genuinely curious. I sit up in my bed, crossing my legs as we chit chat.

"Well, I was gonna see if you have any plans tonight. Figured it might be good to get you out of the house." She says, and I can hear her shuffling around in the background.

"You're asking the most introverted person you could've ever met, what she's up to? Man, you must be pretty lonely too." I joked and she laughed in response. "You have no idea- shit." she says and as she speaks, a loud bang could be heard in the background.

"What are you doing?" I ask and laugh. She's always been a little clumsy. "I'm trying to hang up this portrait I got- you'd love it. It reminds me of mom.. but yeah anyways, I'm trying to hang it up and just knocked some shit over. Are you coming out tonight, or what? If you are, meet me at Quincy's. They renovated and apparently are under new management. Wear something black, and cute." She says, hanging up.

I really didn't want to go out tonight, but it might be nice, since I haven't left my house in months. With the fact you can get just about anything delivered to your doorstep in this day and age, you don't really have to leave your house anymore. Which I love, because I have cultivated a very cozy space to exist by myself, having everything I need.

I check the time and see that my lecture begins in 5 minutes, so I hastily log in to my computer and go to my dashboard. I click the link and join the zoom, where my teacher welcomes us, a little too gleefully, if I might add.

"Good morning everyone! How was your Spring break?" Avaryl asks. The class I'm currently taking isn't my favorite, but it gets me closer to the other classes I'm looking forward to. I'm studying to get my Bachelor's in Science, for audio production and audio engineering.

I've always dreamed of opening a recording studio someday and becoming the best female audio engineer, so after I graduated high school, I decided I want to focus on my music career.

As the class went on, I wondered why my sister wanted me to join her for a night out, so badly. Maybe she was missing mom, like I was. Maybe the loneliness was gnawing at her too, eating her from the inside out, and the only cure was some quality drinks and sister time. What would I wear? She said something black and cute, so maybe the bodycon dress I bought from fashion nova? Or I could wear some leather- I've always loved leather.

"Any questions about this first section?" I heard my professors voice come through my laptop. I realized I'd spaced out, and would've probably panicked if I wasn't so good at being in autopilot. I look at my notebook to see I'd gotten all the notes down, even whilst being in my own little world.

As the lecture went on, I realized more and more that maybe I should've just decided to attend on campus. I'd probably have friends, unless they don't appreciate dark humor and staying in, drinking bottles of pinot grigio while watching 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.' I think the fact I'm so boring is why I don't really have friends. Being a 22 year old woman, I feel like everyone expects you to be some overly horny, party animal railing lines and beer bonging until 8 in the morning.

I've just never been interested in the idea of getting sloshed in a room full of sweaty, smelly frat guys who would absolutely drug you the moment they could. So actually, never mind. I'm content with my decision.

After 2 hours, that felt like 5 business days, the lecture was over. "Homework is due on Sunday by midnight guys. I will not be counting it as 'on time' if it's submitted past midnight. See you guys next week!" my teacher says before the zoom call is disconnected.

I take a deep breath, setting my laptop on my desk and getting back in bed. The clock in my room read 3:00pm. Perfect, I think to myself as I realize I have time for a nap before my sister is expecting my company.

I bundle up in my blankets and curl up in the fetus position, flicking my TV on and turning on 'The Great.' Before I know it, darkness floods my vision and I feel myself floating out of this dimension, into the next.