Never Mine

Chapter 38

"What's wrong? You look worried over something there."

Czar walked into our room, carrying a glass of milk for me which he got from the kitchen himself. Matutulog na sana kami nang naisipan niyang gawin iyan para raw mas maging maayos ang pakiramdam ko. While waiting for him, I opened my laptop and checked my emails.

One specific email from my publisher caught my attention and Czar found me frowning over it. Bumilis ang kilos niya at nilapag muna ang baso ng gatas sa side table saka tinabihan ako sa kama. I shifted the laptop towards his direction to let him read the news from the screen.

"They're calling you back," he said after scanning the content of the email.

"Hmm... And immediately. The event was approved in a rush kaya rushed din 'tong memo." I sighed and closed the laptop. I placed it on my side before facing him with a sullen look.

He looked serious while thinking for a quick moment then he nodded. "That's alright. We can arrange things immediately. I'll call my assistant to set our flight."

Akma na siyang tatayo nang pinigilan ko ang braso niya. "No. Czar...."

He stopped and stared at me. Wala naman akong maidugtong doon. Nang hindi na ako nagsalita ay bumuntong-hininga siya at masuyo akong tinitigan.

"You don't want me to go with you," he concluded. He didn't sound mad, sad, or anything bad about it.

It was just pure understanding on his part. It made me feel guilty because a different idea was quickly playing on my mind.

"Hindi naman sa ayaw ko. Of course, I want to experience London with you. It's just that... I think the timing isn't right for it. You still have to talk to Emma's friend about things in her café. I'm sure you can't also leave the company just like that. Kagagaling lang natin sa bakasyon nang magkasunod na dalawang beses tapos ilalayo na naman kita."

"Magagawan ko naman 'yon ng paraan. I have some people who can do those things for me."

"I know. But still, Czar..."

At kagaya kanina, wala na naman akong naidugtong doon. Tumango na lang siya at hinaplos ang likod ko.

"It's alright. Hindi ko naman pinipilit, hmm? I just want to remind you that you're my priority and I can be anywhere in this world with you, kahit kailan pa 'yan. But I also understand na hindi lahat ay kailangan nating gawin nang magkasama," aniya kahit pa na mukhang hindi rin siya kumbinsido sa huling sinabi. "I'll hear your terms, love. What do you want?"

"I'll go the day after tomorrow. Bukas ay bibisita muna ako kina Daddy at Mommy para magpaalam..."

"That'll probably take you half the day, if not most of it. You'll only be giving me a few hours before you leave, then."

Napangiti ako dahil sa tono ng boses niya. "Hindi naman ako magtatagal sa London. We don't need to have long goodbyes."

"Alright. Just... come back to me, safe and still very much in love with me, Amanda. Come back to me, okay?"

Umiling ako. Bago pa siya makapag-react ng kung ano sa pag-iling kong iyon ay dinugtungan ko na kaagad.

"Pwede ka bang sumunod sa akin doon?" marahang tanong ko.

"Bakit hindi na lang ako sumama sa 'yo?" Naging marahan din ang pagtatanong niya. He tucked some strands of my hair behind my hair then he rested his hand on my waist.

Ngumuso ako. "Mas gusto kong sumunod ka na lang. Kapag... naayos mo na ang mga kailangan mong ayusin dito. It's your call kung kailan... but I don't want you to cheat, okay? It had to be your choice, a fair choice. If you can't make it, you can just call me and tell me about it."