The Leverage

Chapter Thirteen

"We have to go back! Please, we don't have a choice! We left someone behind!"

I'm screaming at anyone who will listen as the jet continues on its course away from the blazing flames down below. The Company's prostitution building is burning to the ground as we fly away to safety, which should be a good thing.

But it's not.

Trevor isn't here.

Trevor must not have made it out of the building in time, since he isn't here on the plane. If he had been able to, he would have made sure to be here with me. But, he's not, so something is terribly wrong. So horribly, badly wrong.

I feel sickness overwhelming my body as my breaths almost stop coming all together, my voice tired from screaming and my mind twisting in a whirlwind. Helpless desperation clouds my every thought as I continue losing my grips on reality, feeling completely broken. The thought of Trevor not being here is... No. A choked, strangled sob crawls its way out of me, a hundred tears suddenly being released from behind my eyelids.

Uncontrollably, I sink to the ground as the plane bumps through the air with wild turbulence, and I cover my face so no one knows that Ally Hades has just lost her sanity. I'm screaming into my arms as hot tears splash painfully down my cheeks, but over the noise of so many people in such a small amount of space, no one can hear. No one can know to go back to the site that was just engulfed in flames to save Trevor. I suppose there isn't a way we could realistically go back, but it's the only option in my mind. But I can't control myself to make it happen. A force unknown to me has taken over my convulsing body.

Trevor, what happened to you?

He can't leave me here in this world, in this mess of a cruel world, without him. Ally Hades is not supposed to be without Trevor Benson. Everything that Ally Hades is, is because of Trevor Benson. Separating the two would mean utter chaos and demons to walk the grounds of a suddenly horrible world. There simply isn't a possible way that Trevor could be... gone. Away from me.

"Please," I cry softly to no one, my heart completely breaking as I can feel literal pain overwhelming my body. I have crumbled and my life as been shifted horribly at any thoughts of having lost my precious Trevor. There is no relief in my mourning and stress as I can't focus enough to do anything but cry. I'm so weak, so foolish to not do anything but cry, but crying is all I can do. There is no solace to be found, just more layers of helplessness and grief as I continue weeping.

I feel the haunting coolness of the gorgeous engagement ring around my finger, which only has my tears flowing harder. This ring was supposed to symbolize my forever with the man I love. Trevor promised me an eternity with him when he gave it to me. I cry more at the thought of being cheated out of that blissful dream of mine, of being Trevor's forever. How can this be? This nightmare is not supposed to be what becomes of us. After everything that we have been through together, this is definitely not the way we are supposed to end.

Trevor can't be gone.

"He's not gone," I assure myself, as my shaking fingers wipe furiously under my eyes as if erasing any evidence of mourning would also erase the possibility of Trevor needing to be mourned. I know Trevor can't be gone. That's not what is supposed to happen to him, to us. No. The road for us hasn't even been paved yet, and so it is much too early for my fiancé to be gone. It is not possible.

If I believe he is gone, then that is losing hope in him, in us. Trevor wouldn't allow himself to be without me.

Something must have happened to him, something besides death that made him miss the escape route to save us. Trevor can outfight anyone, so he couldn't be dead from a fight with a guard. Not possible. And, Trevor is much too smart to have missed the jet ride by losing track of precious time. That's not a possibility, either. Something else besides death must have happened. Death does not make sense in this situation.