The Leverage

Chapter Seven

Last night, I gave Landon a bloody nose.

Me, Ally Hades, gave the captain of all seventeen units, a nose bleed.

And it was awesome.

Let's just say that I went to bed pretty easily after that little, well, major accomplishment, while a smile had been plastered to my lips like an idiot on Christmas morning. I had a few shreds of confidence building after I realized that I'm strong enough to leave a mark on a guy as huge and muscled as Landon. Hell, I didn't just leave a mark. I made him bleed.

But this morning, I woke to an aching heart. For a split second when I first opened my eyes, I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. For barely a moment, I truly believed that I was waking up in Trevor's arm and all of the heartbreak that the fact that my mom had been alive all of this time had all been a painful nightmare. I woke up, and I smiled. I had smiled at the thought of leaning over and kissing Trevor's perfect lips, I had even dreamed about what it felt like to be cradled into his chest that promised to keep me safe while leaving me feeling dangerously exhilarated. Just thinking about Trevor made my body writhe in pain from being away from him, and deeply, all I wanted was to feel his lips on mine again.

But I can't let myself do that. The trust is gone, and I just can't let myself kiss Trevor right now, even though depriving myself of Trevor will probably kill me. He's like heroin in my veins, a deadly drug that replaced oxygen. Trevor isn't just some guy I'm in love with - no, I'm addicted to him. I crave his presence, I need his touch. The high I get from being in his arms is just too pleasurable to give up.

I scold myself mentally as I force the thougths of misery from my mind, as I realize that I'm not in Trevor's bed. I'm actually crashing on Oliver's couch, in an apartment that honestly scares me in more ways than one. I'm afraid of the simple air around me, the feel of the apartment. And I'm terrified of the man sleeping in the room beside me.

A loud knocking interrupts my morning thoughts, and I groan tiredly. I didn't sleep much last night, and I definitely don't feel like company.

The knocking on the wooden door gets increasingly louder, until I drag my feet to the knob to open it.

"Ally," breaths Holden, the man outside the doorframe. Just seeing Holden's familiarly beautiful face bring back a rush of pain to my mind as the betrayal stabs me deeply, wounding me like a gunshot.

"What do you want?" I ask icily, moving in front of the door slightly so Holden knows that he isn't welcomed inside.

"To talk to you," he replies, eyes desperate as they appear to search mine. If he's looking for approval, he sure as hell isn't going to find it.

"You already had your chance to talk," I growl, "several times. But, the thing is, you never did. You never cared enough to be a decent human being or at least a good friend to tell me that my mother has been alive."

"Please, just let me apologize," Holden pleads. "You don't understand how crazy I've been driven by the thought of you hating me this way. I want you to know that I never in one millions years would ever hope to cause you any harm, any sort of pain whatsoever."

"Well that plan failed."

"Ally, please. It wasn't my place to tell you the truth about your mom."

"I'm really getting sick of you saying that!" I exclaim, considering just closing the door in his face. A strong part of me wants to, because I'm hurting enough due to missing Trevor more than anything else in my whole life, and I don't want to deal with more stress. But the desperation on Holden's face brings out the softer side to me, so I keep the door open.