The Leverage

Chapter Fifteen

The week following the raid passes in a dreadful blur, a cloud of deadened emotions and heartache thawed by the intensity of the needs of the rape victims consuming Unit One and Two's lives. The girls sleep in the garage, none of them trusting, though all of them relieved to be free from their Reno cells. The boys are all determined to figure out the next step in the process of taking down the prostitution half of the Company, but to a lack of success. What are they supposed to do with thirty girls who were forced to be sex slaves by the Company they all work for?

Therefore, it's been an exhausting week. A week which started with a triumph with the cost of the life of Trevor. I don't know where he is. If he is alive, if he is well. He's simply gone, yet I refuse to believe he's dead. He can't be. It just doesn't make sense. But, I don't know where he is. I can't understand what he is going through or what happened to him which brought us to this distance and silence, to the assumption of his death. 

At the thought of Trevor, I feel my insides begin to crumble. I've locked myself into his too empty of an apartment with the excuse of needing lunch, just to escape for a moment from the chaos of the craziness downstairs in the garage. I know the fridge is empty and the pantry only holds items which require actually cooking, so eating doesn't seem like a possibility at the moment. 

Instead, I rest at the counter, my elbows supporting my weight as I rest my face in my hands. I can feel my body quivering and my eyes wetting with tears, but my cries are soundless. Too much effort will be spent if I allow my body to undergo yet another breakdown. I just focus on the darkness of my shaded eyes, trying so hard to stop the images of Trevor crossing them. If I let myself dwell on memories of him, then crying will be inevitable. And I can't afford that. Not right now. 

So, what do I do? I'm out of options. I'm too drained to return to the garage at this moment. I'm too depressed to remain in this apartment for much longer. I don't feel like talking to any of the boys because they all pity me and handle me like I'm breakable, which convinces me that I am, that I can't handle being without Trevor. I have never felt so isolated in my life, mainly due to the fact that I can't reach Trevor and I'm left in the dark about whether or not he's even alive, but also because I'm trapped. What is there for me to do, for me to go? There are no answers, no secrets to reveal what the antidote I need is.

Sighing, I aimlessly stride from the apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind me. I walk down the hallway, pausing at an all too familiar door. Landon is probably inside, doing nothing, since he refuses to help out his unit with the girls downstairs. He hasn't made an appearance in the garage once. Helping other people must be too below him. 

I shudder in disgust at the thought of Landon, feeling anger and dread creep across the surface of my body in repulsion. I can never decide if I have any respect at all for the man, or if I truly just hate every part of him. But despite my conflicting and irritable feelings for him, I know he's my contact in finding out all that I can about where Trevor is and what happened to him. As a president, Landon knows everyone there is to know in the Company. He has connections. He has access to information. He has the potential to be what I need to seek out Trevor and save him.

Somewhat reluctantly, I knock on his door, with the thought of Trevor the only one which convinces me to do so. If at all possible, I try my hardest to avoid Landon and his abuse. He finds me repulsive as well, in the way that the speaks to me and sees me as such a small person compared to him. He hates me for what I have done to the men in his Unit, Trevor especially, while I hate Landon for hating me. I do find good in Landon, even if his way of showing he cares is quite awful. I have to admit that I respect his honesty in the past, and I understand the hardships he has gone through in his life, but that's as far as the admiration goes. Nothing can excuse someone from being an asshole, which is the perfectly fitting description for Landon.