do you really think you're perfect ? | blade [hsr]

...even when you're drunk?

To think that things would've gotten better helped you stay afloat. But everyone had their limits. And when you found out that Tingyun would have to undergo yet another surgery, having barely survived the last one, you cracked.

You didn't drink a lot. At least, after Jing Yuan. Before, you did if you felt it was right, like if someone offered to buy you one. You wouldn't turn it down. You weren't like that.

So as you drove to the local bar, rain pouring in the city, you tried to stop and think. You tried to make this the best it could be. You could've turned back, and handled this differently. But you didn't.

As you walked through the doorway, you pulled your hood off, shaking the rain drops away. The bar was relatively empty, only a couple customers and a redheaded bartender at the front. You sat directly in front of him, slouching over once you hit the seat, grabbing his attention. He threw a washcloth over his shoulder, leaning down and meeting your gaze.

"Can I get you anything Miss?" The bartender asked, his harsh voice scaring you at first, before the realization of 'this might just be what he sounds like every day' hitting you. You nodded, staring up at the menu, even though you knew just what you needed.

"Your strongest." You said, voice hoarse after not having used it since the hospital. "Whatever it is." The bartender hesitated, but nodded - He could tell you weren't in the right place; he was a bartender for Aeons sake, he's seen all types of people - But he couldn't deny a customers first drink. 

After the drink was made you grabbed it, forcing the bitter taste of whiskey down your throat. You couldn't do this. Your sister hanging onto a thread. Your grades beginning to slip as an effect. 

See, this was your flaw, this was your greatest flaw; the fact that you couldn't survive without a stable support holding you up. You were nothing without Tingyun. You were nothing without Kafka. Hell, you were nothing without Blade. The people who were in your life were the ones that influenced you to this day.

And now that one of them was close to gone, you couldn't take it.

You prayed to the Aeons that Tingyun would survive this next surgery. She had to, or you wouldn't know what to do. The bartender brought over another of what you had, and you gulped it down with a sob, wiping the tears with a napkin from the countertop. 

You didn't know what to do. You kept saying it to yourself, but it didn't change anything. There was nothing you could do, nothing to change the strings of fate that controlled Tingyuan like a mere puppet. You couldn't change whatever was going to happen to her. You couldn't change the fact that she was born with this condition. And you couldn't change the fact that you were at your lowest, as you took down your fourth drink.

Now you could feel yourself losing consciousness, but you held yourself afloat - you've been much more drunk than this, granted in stabler conditions, yet this wasn't your worst. It definitely felt like the worst, though.

The faint chatter was fuzzy in the background - it was just you that was clear. Clear to you. And, clear to someone else.

Blade didn't know what he was doing at the bar exactly. When he saw you, he should've turned away. He'd already put enough of him into your daily life.

But Aeons, you looked so fragile. Like you were at the lowest portion of your life. And the tinge in his heart couldn't take that.

"Hey." Your head turned at the familiar voice. Blade sat at the bar beside you. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," You replied, the usual edge to your voice hidden beneath the slurring of alcohol. 

"How many of drinks have you had?" Blade demanded. You pondered this to yourself - how many have you had? After quite a bit of consideration, you held up five fingers and let out a groan. "Five of these? I'll have to applaud you for still being alive and comprehensive."