do you really think you're perfect ? | blade [hsr]

but I do

Three days after your sister passed. Three days without Tingyun.

You were holding up better than when it happened. Blade had been a major part in regaining your stability. You were moving on. It hurt, a LOT, but you were moving on.

You had planned to cremate Tingyun. Your parents hadn't left either of you a lot of money, and Tingyun was never one who desperately wanted a burial. Today was that day - and you invited Blade.

At first he had declined - Blade didn't want to be there during an intimate moment for you, and possibly other family. But when he found out it'd just be you and Kafka - who had also been close to your sister - he agreed. 

The three of you sat together in the lobby, waiting for Tingyun's ashes. "We'll go to the ocean to spread them." You had whispered to the other two. The room was silent, the sound of the clock ticking being the only noise. Your left hand was planted in Kafka's who was holding it tightly, not planning to let you go. The other was in your lap, but you were leaning to the right, shoulder resting against Blade's. 

Kafka had noticed this, but she didn't try and point it out - She knew how you were feelings, and the boundaries. But, she smiled, she would definitely bring it up at one point in the next few days. 

You shifted slightly, switching your crossed legs for a better position, your shoulder moving from Blade's shoulder to his chest in the process, head to where your shoulder once was. Blade's breath hitched, but neither of you addressed it. You rested comfortably with him, trembling hand occupied with Kafka's stable one.

A couple minutes later, the cremator came out with the urn and a necklace. You stood up abruptly, leaving the two behind and approaching him. He handed you the two, saying a couple words, a few formalities, but they mostly went through one ear and out the other. What had caught your attention was the fact that the necklace was actually crafted with a bit of your sisters ashes in it. You had to hold back your tears even more as Blade clipped it around your neck. 

Once you were out of the cremation center, tears began to drip down your cheeks and onto the urn. The two behind you stopped when they realized what was happening. Kafka rushed to your side, embracing you, tears forming in her own eyes as she looked down at the urn. 

"Let's.." Your voice caught in your throat, hoarse from having been silent. "Let's catch the next train up to Akihara Cliff." Kafka nodded, and the three of you walked to the station from the cremation center.

Blade walked slightly behind you and Kafka, pondering to himself. He couldn't relate to your pain - he was much too young to remember his own father's passing. But seeing you like this? He knew he didn't like that. He missed your snarky, annoyingly adorable attitude. He missed when you'd snap back at him whenever he said something to you.

He watched you, across from his seat on the train. Your [h/c] hair, flowing from the breeze. Your [e/c] eyes, drifting from the window to the urn sitting in your lap. Your lips - Ah fuck. He shook his head, trying to crush the thoughts of just kissing you.

This time was for you to mourn, and he respected that. Besides, you probably didn't like him like that. Because he ruined things between you and Jing Yuan. No matter how well your relationship became, would it really overshadow that fact? Would it really change anything...?

See, now he was overthinking it. The three of you were almost already at the cliff - a whole 15 minutes he had spent debating with himself. How stupid of him.

You were leading the way to Akihara Cliff, trying to make as little contact with anyone who watched you pass by, eyes dropping from you to the urn in your hands. You ignored the glances, and continued walking, keeping your head up. 

Once you had reached the top of the cliff, just overlooking the ocean, you sat down at the edge. The other two sat beside you, though holding onto something as to not fall over. You opened the urn, one hand rubbing the necklace between your index finger and thumb. 

"Tingyun," You said softly. "You don't even know how much you meant to me. You took care of me better than our parents could have. You went through all this pain, yet you always put on a smile and told me not to worry. You helped me with my anxiety, through school, and even up till now. You were always the first person I'd go to whenever I had something to say, whether it was something stupid, or something serious. You were my safe space, and you were my reason to keep going."

Aeons, you couldn't hold it in any longer. Tears began to flood your face, blinding you for a split second. You held the urn out above the waves, slowly sprinkling your sister's ashes into the ocean, where she had always loved to go.

Kafka moved forward, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, tears spilling down her own cheeks as she watched her best friend's biggest support become one with the sea. 

----

The three of you went to get boba afterwards. It was the last thing that Tingyun had suggested you do with her. You ordered her favorite, and even though it wasn't necessarily to your liking, you drank it for her. 

Kafka excused herself to the bathroom, leaving you and Blade, sitting together. Blade looked up, meeting your gaze. Dry tears stained your cheeks as you stared into his eyes.

"I hope today wasn't too terrible for you." He mumbled. "I mean, obviously you're hurting. But things will get better. Your sister, she'd want you to be happy. Remembering her with little things like this." Blade held up his own cup of boba. "And Y/N, you have so much to live for. You're smart, and you care for others around you."

Aeons, the tears began again. You sniffled, reaching your hand out to Blade, who surprisingly, took it in his, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. "Thank you." You whispered. "For being my new support."

Blade's heart began to race, and for one of the first times, he smiled. You raised your eyebrows at the sight - it was quite a breathtaking one - and you grinned at the thought of him. "Toleration?" He asked, a hint of teasing behind his voice. You shook your head with a soft chuckle.

"Friends." You whispered, squeezing his hand in yours. Blade's cheeks flushed ever so slightly pink, as he nodded.

"Friends."

Little did either of you know, was that the possibility of being more than just friends, was quite high.

Authors notes!

Hii everyone!! Chapter 8 done, and we are on a roll. I'm so, so glad for your continuous support, and I hope you all continue supporting further fics along with this one.

In case you haven't read my message board, this fic is scheduled to be completed on June 14th. On that same day, two new fics will be releasing.

The first is a Haikyuu Osamu x reader university AU! Don't wanna give too many spoilers, but any musician and/or chef out there should be happy. Haikyuu returning to Netflix has DEFINITELY awakened my past urge to write for it.

The second is a Spiderman type of AU for Blade, where the reader is a normal citizen, who just so happens to keep getting into types of trouble, and the brave, masked hero, Spiderman (spoiler alert, it's Blade) always comes to save her, and eventually begins to fall for her. (Another spoiler alert. Its gonna be MAJOR angst)

I hope you're just as excited as I am. Love you all, and thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Love, Jae