To Heal is to Feel

To do or not to do

I set my things inside carls room. More so Carl does as soon as I return to the house he was still coupes up in.

I felt lighter, bubbly? Why?

Don't ask me. I won't like my answer. I won't enjoy myself. It felt as if I was back at the quarry. On my own...

She's gone... she's gone...

"Do you want to take a walk outside, Carl? Nice weather." I state and ask. Looking out the window to the sunny sun and the bright neutral green trees.

When I don't hear Carl say anything I look back at him. He stands there, a crooked smile plastered on his tired face.

"Yes, will Judith be joking us?" He asks, I roll my eyes.

"What kind of question is that?" I raise my brows, looking from Carl to Judith that lays on her belly on my bed.

Supposedly, Rick has moved it in here with some help from Abraham and Glenn last night. I could've just slept on the couch...

Judith gives Carl the same raised brows I was currently giving him, making both me and Carl chuckle a light tune.

—
It was later on in the day, I was perched up on the window seat with a book and mug of coffee at my side.

Judith on my lap.

After the walk, Carl disappeared somewhere else. I haven't seen him sense. I haven't seen anyone. I think I was unofficially on baby duty. It wasn't like there was anything else to do.

Except go outside the walls.

But the possibility of running into mama outside, with no one else around... it didn't sit well with me.

I take sips of the still coffee before clearing my throat and picking up the book titled, 'The Secret Garden'

I let out a deep sigh, " A body 'as to move gentle an' speak low when wild things is about. -" I start to read to us both but am interrupted when the door is opening

"I thought you'd take the whole day to rest. I would have woken you up in the morning." Rick says with a light smile as he walks towards me and his daughter, casually.

I lift the baby towards him, he takes her. Talking nonsense to her, I told my eyes. She's a baby, not a dog.

I pick up the cup of black coffee and let it step in my hands. Rick takes a sit next to me, I feel his arm wrap around my shoulder.

I pick his hand up with my fingers and unwrap his skin from my cloths. Now that I'm near him, I'm reminded of the actions he took the other night.

How he do confidently just,,, wished me away from mama. Now mamas on a bender.

He lets out a sigh of some emotion, "Where's Carl?" He ask, I shrug

"Don't know." I say the two words lowly, nonchalantly.

"Did you get to say bye to Glenn and the crew that were going out?" He asks me, his knees bouncing the baby in a obnoxious way that made my head hurt.

"No, I didn't know they left anyways." I shrug, chugging the last of my beverage down. The steamy going into my nose and making it a light shade of red.

"Daryl still out with Aaron and probably won't be back in a few days, so..." he trails off, I nod my head.

Truth be told, my mind has been on mama and mama only since I've gotten here that I haven't thought of anyone else, not even me.

Daryl, I want to talk to him. I don't know about what, but I know I just do.

"Did you do anything today?" He goes on to try and make conversation, I tilt my head away from his presence. A sudden wave of disgust fills me.