To Heal is to Feel

Chills

Jim's grunts are the only thing that enters my ears, something wrapping around my hand. It was warm and sweaty.

My eyes follow the shovel in Jim's hands, my head tilting a little as I shift my eyes to his face. He looks determined and distracted at the same time. His face caked with sweat.

"Hey, Jim." Shane desires to be the one to break the silence, Jim doesn't stop digging, "how bout you hold up alright? Just give me a second here, please." Shane adds, and Jim finally stop digging with a sigh.

"What do you want?" He questions, a hint of annoyance in his tone

"We're all just a little concerned, that's all." Shane says in a softer tone

"Dale says you've been out here for hours." Morales says

"So?" Jim questions further, I wrap my arms around my stomach from both hunger and nervousness.

"So why are you digging? Are you heading to china, Jim?" Shane lets out a soft scoff , trying not to seem bothered right know but I know he is. His fingers that were on his hips tightening ever so slightly.

I take a visible step back.

"What does it matter? I'm not hurting anyone." Jim says before he continues to dig

"Yeah, except maybe yourself. It's 100 degrees today. You can't keep this up." Dale argues

"Sure I can. Watch me." Jim argues back, viciously digging into the dirt. Lori takes a few steps forward.

"Jim there not going to say it so I will. Your scaring people. Your scaring my son and carols daughter." She says, taking a glance at me from where I was standing next to morales.

"They got nothing to be scared of. I mean, what the hell people? I'm out here by myself . Why don't you all just go and leave me the hell alone?" Jim says, sounding fed up already and I know his patience is going low

Shane and Lori share a look.

I hug myself tighter. The heat now getting to me from being on top of this hill for so long. I look up at the sun, my eyes don't need time to adjust, which my mom always found odd of me.

She says that most people couldn't even look at the sun with blinking, and that me being able to is odd.

Something thudding to the ground snaps me out of my thoughts. I look at the shovel and then Shane and then the person under him.

"You got not right! You got no right!" Jim's shouts as Shane tries to calm him down. My eyes widening a little as I look at the people watching on and then back to the scene.

What. The. Hell.

"Jim, nobody is going to hurt you, okay?" Shane calm him down a bit, I could see a flash of metal come into view and next thing Shane is putting cuffs around Jim's wrist behind his back

"That's a lie that's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it a hundred times. It didn't matter.they came out of now where. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled them right out of my hands." Jim's says, I look down at him with furrowed brows. Confused at what he is saying, " you know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were to busy eating my family." He adds, sighing.

My lips part as I forget how breathing works. His family were eaten by walkers as he got away? I just hope Glenn gets back as soon as possible. I have a lot to tell him.
—
I stare at Jim's side face, as he stares somewhere into the trees. Lori nudges me from where I'm sat besides her on the picnic table. She gestures for me to finish my 'school work' , but I didn't understand any of it.

It frustrated me.

I stare down at the plank paper. I was suppose to be writing my name and things I enjoyed to do, but every time I tried I would mix up the letters and misspell it.

I hear Shane's coming down to where Jim is with a bucket of water and cup, Dale behind him. I look down at the paper and then back at them.

"Jim, take some water?" Shane ask, his voice low but I still heard him from where I am. Jim agrees to Shane's offer and takes small sip of the water, my own my started to water.

Morales comes to collect a rock for the fire pit, and I get up from my seat to follow him. I don't want to do this pointless 'school work' anymore. Besides, Lori isn't my mother , she doesn't have a say in what I do.

I dodge her out stretch hand and make a run for where every one else is at. Walking up the small hill and sitting besides a working morales.

"Why are you here and not doing your homework?" I hear morales say from in front of me, before taking a seat besides me with a heavy sigh.

"It's not like it matters anyways,does it? The world went to shit already. Knowing what pointless words mean doesn't matter anymore." Not like it did anyway, I said the last part in my head. I look up at him as he looks forward in thought.

"That's what you think?" He ask, looking down at me from his daze. Is that what I think? My mom told me the things I said but she's always right. So it's the truth.

"Yeah, it is what I think." I say firmly, he nods at me before getting up and heading to where I came from. Probably to get more rocks.

—

I didn't move from where I sat earlier in the day, it was now night time and the stars were out. I passed the time by passing my fish to Carl who sat next to me, I couldn't do it. I couldn't eat it.

Disappointment rises in me when I tried and failed to, though no one noticed my struggle to eat the fish. And Carl was more than happy to have my fish.

I look up and around at the people around the fire, myself included and couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through me slowly.

I got to ask you man. It's been driving me crazy." Morales breaks the easy silence, his focus on Dale

"What?" Dale say , a smile on his lips.

"That watch." Morales pints to the watch on dales hands.

"What's wrong with my watch?" Dale ask looking down at his wrist

"I see you every day, the same time, winding that thing like a village priest saying mass." Morales says, spreading his arms out just the littlest.

"I've wondered this myself." Jacqui says, Andrea nodding her head on agree meant.

"I'm missing the point." Dale says with a shrug, although his smile grows with each sentence.

Is he actually happy or is it because of the attention he is receiving right know? , I find myself asking in my head as I put my plate down.

"Unless I've misread the signs, the world seems to have come to an end. At least hit a speed bump for a good long while." Jacqui says shaking her head lightly, soft chuckles were heard from people.

I suddenly feel a wave of heat rush through my body, and not the warming kind but the scorching warning type, the hairs on my skin started to tingle.

It was weird and I chill ran through my body. Wasn't I just burning through my skin? It was like a warning, but for what?

It's probably just the fire in front of me...

My smile dropped into deep frown and I shrank in my seat.