To Heal is to Feel

Lucid dreaming

I lean my hands on the seat in front of me, looking down at the patch of dark hair that belonged to Glenn.

I bring the bottom of my palm to his hair before smacking it down quickly before retracting my myself,  watching silently as he flinched aggressively, turning and looking at who was smacking his hair.

"Really, Lanna." He groans and rubs his head as if I hit it with a pole or something. I hear Maggie let out a chuckle before motioning with her hands for me to come towards her.

I hop off the bus seat I was on and walked towards hers, where she was sweating next to a disturbed looking Glenn.

I'm token by surprise when I'm suddenly being grabbed around the waist and pulled onto Maggie lap. I don't show my surprise though and instead keep my face calm.

"Do it." Maggie says in a breathy voice and j look up at her with confusion. Her eyes leaving Glenn's for a second and meeting mine-

I feel hands grab the sides of my face before bringing it down and lips are leaving pecks of dry kisses on my hair and face.

"Ah, alright. Alright! Let go of me, disgusting! " I bring my hands up and use them to push Glenn's gentle hands away from me. I look up at him as I bring my hands to the top of my head, as if that would shield it from his blowing.

"Not a good feeling huh?" Maggie says from above me in a playful and sarcastic tone. I shrug my shoulders and bite the corners of my lips to stop the ridiculous grin that wanted to form.

I watch as Maggie brings one of her hands up and starts to run her fingers through Glenn's messed up hair, bouncing her knees in a soothing motion that it makes me want to take a nap.

There love for each other ... I've never seen anything like it.

I look back out at the world outside this mini bus. I bring my fingers up and I tilt the palm of my hand to my eyes. The cloth around it not doing it any justice and I know that I was going to need to find another cloth thing to use.

Then, my eyes travel to old, tiny red lines that were printed on the down side of my fingers. I guess, when you have so many scars printed onto your body, you loose sight of the tiny ones.

"It's getting a little messy for you." I hear Rosita start to talk and push off the seat to look over the mountain seats.

Rosita is leaning over her own seat, playing with Abraham's curls as he drives the bus. The faint sound of a males voice humming out of a music disc.

"Gettin ready for retirement. Thinkin about becoming a Plummer, a sheepherder, or something." Abraham says, but I can't picture him ever stopping in one place for too long. Let alone not doing anything.

"There are no sheep here, Abraham. Eyes on the prize." Rosita is quick to erase the though

"Damn right. That's my girl." After Abraham's words I feel Maggie start smoothing my hair down.

"If they continue with the lovey dovey shit I'm going to die of heart break." I hear Tara mumble from the seats back and across from me.

She sees me looking and throws a wink at me. I whip my head around when I start to feel a familiar heat sensation on my cheeks. Why does that happen?

"We may need to ask Rosita to cut your hair tonight too. It's to tangled and too long for these days... what do you say?" Maggie ask but I could tell if I said no, she won't stop asking.

She'll Hold me down if she had to.

"Maybe." Is all I say as I bring my hands up then down in a shrug. The only person who's cut my hair was mama. I don't know if I'm ready, if I want, any other person to cut it yet.