To Heal is to Feel

Late

It was night time and everyone was going into there tents after eating there dinner around the still burning fire.

I hated this part. The part where everyone goes there desperate ways, where they now to go and leave me alone not knowing where to go.

I sit silently near the burning fire, enjoying the calmness of being alone. Or so I thought. I hear a voice fear there throat before I turn my head to a ackward looking daryl looking between me and his tent

"Don't take long." Is all he says before walking away to his tent, which was farther than all the others. I rib my eyes with the back of my hands before standing from my seating position and slowly walking towards Daryl's tent.

I hear shuffling inside the tent and see Daryl's figure being shun by a lamp inside his tent.

I unzip the zippers tent and take a foot inside the tent. Daryl's back was facing me as he folded one blanket on top of the other before turning towards me and grabbing a pillow from another bed made of blankets and shoving it on top of the new blanket bed.

Daryl seemed to be running his eyes over everything in the tent and then the bed he made just now before sitting on his knees with a few struggled grunts.

He was looking up at me then the bed. I took another step inside the tent, now fully inside as I looked around.

It was surprisingly not as bad as I thought it would be. Sure there was clutter in the corners of the tent, but what sane person doesn't have a little mess in their rooms, or tents.

I meet Daryl's eyes, his eyes seemed to be asking a question as he brought his nails to his teeth and started bitting his nails.

"Is that one mine?" I point to the new made , blanket bed. He nods right after I say my words. What do I say now?

I thought daryl would just point to the flier and say something along the lines of 'better get comfortable'. Maybe I didn't know him well either.

"Thank you daryl." I say as I comfortably walk towards the blanket bed and dramatically lag down. Folding my hands over my stomach and closing my eyes for a brief second before opening them again

I look side ways to daryl, who was still in his sitting position, now there was a rock in one of his hands and a knife in the other.

How'd he grab those things without me hearing?

"Would you believe me if I said that this is the best blanket bed anyone has ever made me?"

"Fuck off."

"No, I'm serious. Not even mama could make a few blankets as comfortable and warm as you can."

"Fuck off and go to sleep. Your talking a lot." Daryl grunts out , I decide to ends the conversation there.

I don't know why I felt the need to make it known, in a not so smart way, that I did appreciate Daryls effort. I just.. I wanted him to know that I wasn't ungrateful for his blanket beds.

I try to fall asleep, I really do, but the sound of Daryl's knife and his damn rock aren't helping my mind relax.

I let out a frustrated sigh before sitting up. I rub my eyes before shaking my own shoulders and facing him. He was sitting on his own blanket bed with the smallest hint of a grin on his face.

I bended down a little to catch his eyes, that we're stuck to the ground once soon sensing me sitting up.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" I asked, his eyes snapped to mine before I saw him shake his head.

"No." Was all he said.

There was a moment of silence as we just challenged each other with our eyes. I broke the challenge first and rolled my eyes before letting out my last sigh of the day and flopping back down on my blanket bed.

"Asshole." I whispered to no one but also Daryl at the same time. I turned my back to him and brought my stained pillow to the side of my face, suffocating myself with it when I heard the sound of his dumb rock and his ugly knife scraping against each other  again.

At least this is better than sleeping alone , near the fire, by myself.

—-

"Do you know what happens when we die?" I asked mama as my head laid on the cold table, she stopped what she was doing and turbines to me

"What?" She says, as if she was surprised by my question. I guess one would when questioned by death.

"Do we just see black? Or is there like someone to greet you on the other side? Are we alone when we die?" I asked as I picked up my head from the table and faced mama fully.

She sighed, looking me up and down before turning back around and continuing to make her coffee.

"I don't know Lanna." She quietly says. She puts a cup of steaming hot black coffee in front of me and a bowl of cereal.

Then just when I though mama would sit down on the chair next to me, while she sips her black coffee with me... there is a pounding on the door.

"Elizabeth!" The familiar deep voice shouts from the other side of the door, mom rolls her eyes at the door before walking to it and opening it.

"Your late." Mom says , her knuckles turning white around the door nob.

"I want to see her. She's my dau-" the deep voice is cut off when mama quickly and roughly shoves him off the steps and shuts the door behind her.

I stare at the door with my coffee in one hand. I could feel the burning sting but don't care. Who was that?

—-

My eyes shoot open, but my breathing was slow. Everything was going fast but slow at the same time.

A plate of food was put in front of me by dirty hands.

"Get up. You woke up late." Daryl says as he sets a cup of juice next to my plate of food. I sit up and look around the tent. It was clean. Like really clean, well except for his blanket bed but that's okay.

"You could have woken me up." I say, my voice came out low. I rub my eyes before blinking away the red dots that were clouding my vision.

I hear daryl scoff before I hear him unzip the tent and leave.okay.

"Good morning to you too, asshole." I shiver rolls though my body before I look down at the plate. Bacon, eggs, and a orange juice.

Yum.

I miss mamas black coffees.

I see a pair of pants and a shirt folded at the end of my blanket bed. Carol. I little smile spreads on my lips before I shove a pice of bacon into my mouth.

I start to pull of jacket before rolling my shirt over my stomach, but then I pause. I drop the end of my shirt and crawl to the zipper of the tent before zipping it closed.

Then I change into the close carol had laid out for me. Another pair of carls pants and a girls shirt... Sophia. My hands run over the shirt that fit me perfectly, too perfectly.

Sofias shirt.

I shake my head before putting my jacket back on over it. This doesn't feel right. Sofia will be mad when we find her and I'm in her shirt.

No she won't. It fine it's okay.

I tie my shoe laces before waving my hair out of my damn face. I hate it. It's too long and too tangling. I want it all gone.

I stumble out of the tent. Wiping my mouth before walking I don't know where. Just walking.

I ended up on carls bed. I stared at his sleeping face rather creepily. I should stop. I looked down at my hands before looking at his bandage on his stomach.

"I think I like you better when you like this. No offense but you take offense if you want." I shrug my shoulders , there was a light chuckle from behind me and I glance over my shoulder to see who it was, but no one was there.

The light chuckle sounded so familiar but distant at the same time.