Part of The Madness⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚|| Isaacwhy

Strangers✩

"I don't like talking to strangers tho..."

Since I can remember I've never had good people skills. When looking back, I see someone who had so much to say but no one to say it to. At least, that's what I thought. As I sit at my desk, I read all the comments from people saying how they could listen to me "talk for hours." Now I know that being popular means you should know how to talk to others but when in front of people I just get shy. I decided to be faceless because of that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ugly, but I would rather not face the ridicule that other female creators face everyday. Growing up was hard when all of your relatives scold you for this and that. "have you gained weight," "sit up straight," "Why is your nose so big?" Another factor is that I'm not as feminine as other female streamers. I love to wear anything I want and have so much respect for other styles, but I've always been too scared to expose anything.

My career is based on my personality, how I talk, what I find funny, and of course my talents. Ive been in choir since I could remember. Music is one of those things that comes naturally to me. All I can remember from childhood was me singing. Whenever I felt like saying something the words just spilled out on to sheets of paper. It's like I could tell my life story with melodies and rhythms instead of grammar and punctuation. Three years ago I posted a faceless cover of me singing my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift. The only people who had heard me sing were the choir, my family, and very close friends. The video amassed 300k views with comments saying "This is amazing" and "pleaseeeee release music rn!!!!!" It was insane to think about. After the initial blow up I developed a following and have steadily grossed ever since. For the past three years I started streaming, moved out of my parents house, and even went to TwitchCon.

Now at my desk I play sims to pass the time before my next stream. *Ding* My Lock Screen shows a notification from Instagram. It's Tanner. He's been a good friend (some may even say best friend) for a while. We met during track when I was a freshman and he was a junior. I don't think I've ever clicked with someone as fast as him.  I remember him putting my neighbors name down for the ROTC stuff, buying me xtreme bites at 7/11, and helping me with precalc homework. What does he need this time? As my mind ponders I open the DM.

☆*:*☆instagram☆*:*☆

bigtstreamingservice

bigtstreamingservice
CERAAAAA

ceratonin
Uh yes??

bigtstreamingservice
I NEED YOUR HELP PLEASEEEEE

ceratonin
tanner...
ur scaring me💀
just tell me what it is

bigtstreamingservice
so basically...
we had planned on getting a guest on the podcast
but they bailed on us
so now we have to find someone and then I remembered that I knew you
soooooooo I thought that you would join
pretty please with sprinkles on top🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

ceratonin
uhhhhh
i mean i guess i can
i don't like talking to strangers tho...
soo like can you tell them that before hand

bigtstreamingservice
YES BRO
the guys are gonna be so happy
thank you so much I owe you one

Oh no. This was bad, like really bad. I can't keep up a conversation with strangers. I was pacing around the room trying to cool down after what had just happened. Quickly taking a sip of my water  I glance at myself in the mirror. I look like dog shit. I was wearing old sweat pants from sophomore year, a bleach and spaghetti stained shirt, my glasses, and two mismatched socks I accidentally put together in the laundry. To be honest this wasn't my worst, but still not appropriate for a podcast. looking at myself in the mirror, my makeup was all worn down from work today. Taking my bun out of my hair, I turn on the shower to the hottest setting and turn on my playlist.

songs that give me ceratonin₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

playlist by ceratonin

✩Birds Don't Sing  <3:29>

-TV Girl

✩American Teenager  <4:18>

-Ethel Cain

✩Basics  <2:56>

-Twice

✩Off The Record  <3:08>

-Ive

✩We Can't Stop  <3:51>

-Miley Cyrus

✩Style  <3:51>

-Taylor Swift

✩Daylight  <4:53>

-Taylor Swift

✩the perfect pair  <2:57>

-beabadoobee

I quickly hop into the steaming hot shower, completely being engulfed in the boiling water. I hum along to the songs I chose trying not to think about what was about to happen. I had never spoke to any of them except Nick briefly at TwitchCon last year. Drowning out my thoughts in the sauna I created I realize my showers done. I hope out wrapping myself in my robe. I start doing my skincare singing along to what song I have on. While applying toner I get another DM.

Instagram   now

99+ notifications

Isaacwhy

Isaacwhy

Hey, I heard you were gonna be on the podcast today. I just wanted to thank you for helping us out.

ceratonin

Its no problem. I feel honored honestly, I listen to it every week.

Isaacwhy

Wow!

I didn't expect that from you

see ya soon

ceratonin

💗ofc!

message liked by Isaacwhy

I hadn't expected Isaacwhy to DM me. This day has been so crazy. I finish up my skincare now applying some makeup. I try to attempt douyin makeup but fail miserably, now taking that off. I apply a thin layer of concealer blush and mascara finishing up with a tinted lipgloss. I may not dress feminine, but I've always loved makeup. My hair has been getting so long, now almost down my back. I brush it putting it up in a bun, leaving a few framing pieces out. I was ready.

A/N

UHHHHHH why is cera so slay

I low key wanna make her more confident but maybe this will be good character development