Stand by me

chapter five

Lauren's POV:

My head was pounding, I could feel my fast paced pulse in my neck causing me to shiver. The conversations I could've sworn I heard had ceased.

At least I thought I heard people talking. I hope that's true. I don't need anything else's added to my list.

The room was slightly colder, a slight breeze making its through. I could feel the hand that was running it's way through my hair stop.

What happened? Why was I even sleeping? That's when it hit me. I had a panic attack. Shit!

I sat up completely ignoring the way I wobbled, I felt nauseous and light headed. I finally noticed I wasn't alone in the room. Camila and Demi were sitting beside me.

Shit they witnessed that! FUCK I'M DEAD! They're going to want to know what happened. SHIT!

I could see Demi's apprehension on her face and the deep concern through Camilas tough exterior.

I didn't mean to scare them. Why do I always seem to fuck up. I had a good thing going to.

And now its probably over since I can't even keep my cool with them. Its so embarrassing. UGH!

I can't afford to not have this family I overheard the lady who ran the orphanage I have only one chance then I'm going to be fostered.

Being fostered means that I have too comply to all their wishes I get no say. At least at the orphanage I could hide in my room.

When you're being fostered then you basically lose everything that you have. Its the definition of hell.

"Are you okay Lauren? What happened?" Demi was the first to brake the silence.

Shit, what do I say? I can't tell them they'll bring me back, they don't know what I'm going through. I gotta lie and pretend I'm ok. Then they'll leave it alone.

"I'm fine honestly. Just a lot to handle you know." My voice sounded even more raspier than normal.

Demi looked convinced with my lie, but Camila didn't seem to have bought it.

"If you need anything let me know, Lauren I care a lot about you even though we just met. You seem to be nice, kid." Oh how wrong she is. I am not nice, anything but nice. Hell I'm not a good person either.

I felt bad for lying but I couldn't do anything about it. Unless I wanted to be brought back to the orphanage which I didn't.

So the only chance I had was to lie and pretend that everything was fine when in reality it wasn't.
Demi kissed my head lightly, and slipped out of bed. Leaving me with Camila again. I heard the door shut and Camila flinched. She was wringing her hands not looking at me.

Why was she doing that? Shit did I do something? "What's wrong Camila?" I asked my voice shaking. What did I do? Fuck!

You could hear the other girls in the background giggling and joking around, while Camila and I sat in awkward silence. "You didn't do anything ok, I just don't want to talk about it. " Camila answered.

I could do that. I had no other choice. Camila crawled into bed, away from me almost on the edge, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.

What did I do? Signing I layed on my back, looking up at the plain white ceiling trying to decide if I should just leave the room or not. I don't think she wants me here so why should I sit here then? I knew the answer though, I was afraid to sit out there, I mean what if they're talking about something why should I intrude on them.