healing takes time (none of it is linear)

Chapter 18

Izuku had filled four notebooks with everything he could remember from his years before his boyfriends. Izuku had told the alphas what he was writing but hadn't let them read it. He wasn't sure he ever would. His past was a delicate topic, and he was honestly scared they'd look at him differently if they knew everything. Currently, he was using the notebooks as a way to get everything out of his head, and he wasn't sure he wanted his boyfriends reading all of it.

It's not that Izuku wouldn't open up about this stuff with the others, but there was only so much he could speak before he felt his mind shutting down, and he couldn't say anything else. He also didn't want to worry the alphas, which is why he wouldn't let them read the detailed versions of what happened that he had been writing in those notebooks.

So, Eijiro, Katsuki and Shoto only had their suspicions. They knew it was bad; they knew that he had been passed around to multiple houses. They knew vaguely what would happen; they would have to be complete idiots if they didn't at least have suspicions.

But they didn't know the details.

And it would probably stay that way for a while, maybe forever.

"Izuku?" Eijiro asked softly as he sat beside his boyfriend on the couch.

The omega was currently scribbling down a few extra thoughts that he didn't want floating around his head. He looked up at the alpha, closing the book. "Mhm?"

"Katsuki called from work. He said his mom got a hold of Inko," he said, his arm snaking around Izuku's side, monitoring his reactions carefully.

Izuku wasn't 100% sure how to react. "Oh," he said softly.

"Kats sent me her number if you want to contact her, but you don't have to," Eijiro continued. It was such a delicate topic; one wrong step would lead to Izuku not wanting to talk at all or shutting himself away in his nest.

The omega stared blankly for a moment. "Oh."

Eijiro put his arm around Izuku to pull him a little closer. "Everything okay, Izuku?" He asked softly.

Izuku took a moment before taking in a breath and giving a slow nod. "I... I never thought I'd get the opportunity to see my mom again," he whispered. "I don't know what to do."

"You don't need to make a decision right now," Eijiro told him, placing a small kiss on the top of his head. "You can take all the time you need."

Izuku leant into his side and buried himself in the alpha's chest. "What if she doesn't like me or who I've become? I-I'm so different now-" He whispered. "What if she hates me now and-"

"Izuku, baby," Eijiro stopped the worried rambles before it got too bad. "She is your mother. She won't hate you, especially when you've become such an amazing person. You're nothing short of amazing, and if she doesn't see that, then she is blind."

Izuku's face heated up, and he whined softly in the way he does when embarrassed. "E-Eijiro, that's embarrassing."
The alpha chuckled softly. "It's true. Every last word." He cupped Izuku's cheeks and pulled him gently away from his chest. "If your mom didn't love you, then she would never have asked about you or asked to see you again."

"S-she wants to see me?" Izuku asked, the thought truly strange to his mind.

Eijiro nodded. "Katsuki said she was crying tears of joy over the phone when she heard you were with us and okay."

That did sound like his mom. He remembered her breaking down into tears when she was extremely happy. Izuku hummed softly as he hid his face back in the alpha's chest. "What if something happens?" He muttered.