Angels Like You

Crazy Mothers

I knocked gently on Hunter's bedroom door. Nico and Cass had gone to help organize the donated items for their church clothing drive. I had a few hours before they would be back, but every second of those hours would be necessary. Not for me, but for Hunter.

He started to smile at me as he took his headphones out, but when he studied my face, the smile faded.

"What's up?" he asked uncertainly.

I stayed in the doorway with my hands in my pockets. "I think we should talk."

"Oh, God," he said softly. "No."

"Hunter—"

"Rafe said he saw you with Toby at school and last night at the after-school program. Please tell me you don't want me to cover up your relapse."

I frowned at him. "My relapse?"

"Yeah," he said exasperatedly, "because why else would you be with Toby?" I stared at him. It took several moments for it to click and his face fell. "No."

"Hunter—"

"You fucking asshole!" He lurched to his feet. "You do recall what that fucking douchebag did to you, right? He got you even more hooked on drugs than you already were! He got you to use fucking heroin, Rhys!"

I took a deep breath before I spoke. "Hunter, he is also in therapy and has changed. Mr. Alberts agreed to let us spend our break—as long as we stayed supervised—together because we're going through the same thing right now."

"I've been in your shoes."

"No," I told him, "you haven't. You might have been an angry kid who was treated like shit by his parents, but you have never been an addict. Toby is one. I am one. We have similar shit to work out." I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Look, Hunter...I don't want to hurt you and I had reservations about this to start with. You were the one who insisted on it, remember?"

"I could tell my parents and you would be out of here tonight," he said in a low voice.

I shrugged. "So do it. I'd just end up in juvie until I'm eighteen and then I'd be free of all these restrictions."

"I fought for you when no one else wanted to."

I leaned against the doorframe. I knew that I owed him a lot. More than I could ever repay him. What he needed to realize, though, was that I had to be selfish. I couldn't keep doing what everyone wanted me to or expected me to. My mom had forced me to live that way. My dad had set boundaries to try to help me when all they really did was drive me further away. Officer Hilton was always looking over my shoulder and questioning why I had been somewhere. Dr. Rittell kept telling me how I should be acting. The only people that were in my life who hadn't tried to force me to be someone were Mr. Alberts and Toby.

Now, Hunter was asking me to stay with him when I knew that it was wrong. Not just because of him being my foster brother, but because we didn't work. He was the only one who was happy in the relationship. I felt like I was suffocating by sneaking around. There was a weight that had started dragging me down the moment I had let him kiss me. A weight that was attached to a consequence that I knew was going to crush me if I didn't stop it. Hunter only had the wrath of his parents to worry about. I would always have more to risk.

"I know. And maybe I shouldn't have let you," I told him. "I need to fight for myself. I'm more than capable of doing it."

"Get the fuck out," he said softly. "You make me sick looking at you."