Angels Like You

Take a Look

It was daylight when I woke up. I groaned, running my hands over my face. Toby lay on his stomach beside me, still sound asleep. With another groan, I rolled over and stumbled to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. It took several handfuls of water before I could get the sand feeling out of my mouth.

I felt hungover but not hungover. Not all of the normal hangover sensations were present. More like I'd slept too much and hadn't hydrated the way I should have. A fog still lingered in my brain as I turned on the shower. I rested my head against the tile wall as the hot water rolled over my skin. Maybe I should have made it cold to clear my head.

Arms wrapped around my stomach. Toby rested his head on my shoulder. I didn't move and he didn't say anything for several minutes as we stood and let the water wash over us, cleansing us of whatever impurities lingered from the night before.

"Wanna have round two minus heroin before we get some food?" Toby murmured in my ear.

I opened my eyes. I barely remembered round one. I probably wouldn't have even believed there'd been a round one if he hadn't brought it up. Everything from Hunter's warning on was a blur.

I twisted in his arms to look at him. "Okay."

As he pressed his lips against mine, I tried to stay present, but that was something that had always been a challenge for me. I leaned back against the wall as his lips trailed further down my body. I grasped his hair and let my head fall back against the wall, closing my eyes. Vaguely, I wondered what time it was.

My brain didn't stay focused on it for long as pleasure coursed through my body. Not the same pleasure as the night before. Nothing was going to compare to that pleasure and I found myself yearning for it again as Toby rose and pressed his lips against mine for a moment before he gently turned me around.

I reached back and laced my fingers in his hair. As Toby pressed against me, I wondered if he had any more stashed that I could have or buy from him. That escape had been the best. Hunter's words tried to creep into my mind again, but they faded as Toby ground against me. I still stood by my words that I wasn't an addict. I craved that high, but I wasn't shoving Toby away go to get it. My mind was focused on the pleasure he was giving me. Mostly. Only a small part was focused on the pleasure from the drug.

Toby held onto me tightly as he stilled. His chin rested on my shoulder as we both fought to catch our breath. I wondered if the no-labels thing was going to change after our two rounds. Part of me wanted it to, but part of me wanted to keep it all casual. Too many labels were already attached to me and I liked having him as another one of my secrets.

Toby and I washed off and dried off before we got dressed. He gave me a pair of pants and a T-shirt to throw on before he went down to see what the damage was from the night before.

As I picked up my clothes from the night before, I stopped and stared at the kit under the bed. I didn't reach for it. I wanted to, but I forced myself to get up and take my wad of clothing downstairs to the sea of abandoned cups and crushed chips.

"The worst seems to be a broken lamp," Toby called from the kitchen. "I'd call that a success. Oh, wait. There's a hole in the drywall. Still. Not too shabby."

"All those things can be replaced," I said as I cleared a spot on the kitchen counter to put my clothes. "I'd call it a win, too."

He handed a yogurt and a banana to me. "The housekeepers will take care of all of it."