afterglow | jude bellingham

³ ⁶ [my home is where my family is]

☆.｡.:*

ISADORA'S POV

The awkwardness between Jude and I has gone away now. I feel normal enough again, my body's back to normal, and he looks fine too. It's been like two weeks since the thing happened and the first week was a lot harder than the second.

I didn't really feel like talking to anyone really. Jude tried to help, but there wasn't anything that he could've done, they were my own emotions. He told me that he told our friends about it so I was thankful for that, and I guess they told our families.

The only thing everyone said was sorry, I didn't expect anything else, they know that nothing they said could make us feel better. I'm at least grateful that it was something very private. The media never found out about the pregnancy, so there's no public comments that I'd have to read.

Jude did decide to tell his coach in private about it, so he was able to take some days to be here with me. But he's been training again and that's good for him.

What he doesn't know though, is that I just finished packing the bags that Danna and Joao brought when they told me to stay here. I'm getting on a flight back to Barcelona tonight.

The only reason this whole arrangement happened was because of the baby, but I'm not pregnant anymore, so I'm going back home. I miss my family and my friends...

But also I'm going back to work on my music again. I can tell Ana that I'm ready to do the tour and I'll promote it as soon as possible.

The only reason why I haven't told Jude is because I don't want him to stop me. If I had told him even yesterday, I know that he would've said something to keep me in Madrid, but I can't stay here. At least not right now.

I need to work on my music to take my mind off of everything still, and Jude needs to focus on becoming a better footballer.

So I'm taking my bags down the stairs and I'm going to wait for him to get home. His practice ended like 30 minutes ago, so he should walk through the door at any moment.

That's when I hear his car pull up.

I hope this goes well.

I hear the door from the car slam, and then I hear him open the door.

He looks tired.

"Hi love," he says. He hasn't seen my bags yet.

"Hi," I reply with a weak smile.

That's when he finally sees the suitcases behind me. "What are those doing down here?"

He knows why, I can tell.

"I'm going back to Barcelona Jude."

He rushes over to me and sits down. "What? Why?"

"Shouldn't you have talked with me about this before," he continues.

I shrug, "I couldn't. You would try to convince me to stay, and I don't want to hear it. I want to go home, I'm sorry."

He scoffs in disbelief, but not anger. "Isa, this is your home."

"No, it's not. Maybe it could've been, but not right now. My home is where my family is."

He reaches over to grab my hand and places it on his lap, "What do you want to leave for? Don't you think that things are still a little fresh?"

"I just need to work on my music right now, okay. You have training and you're gone for a lot of the day. I can't be here in this house alone, I have things to do too."

I let go of his hand, and stand up. "I have to get going, I leave in two hours."

I make my way behind the couch and grab the suitcases that I'm taking back to Barcelona. He stands up after me, and watches me. "You really want to leave?"

I look at his sad eyes, they almost look desperate. I know what I'm doing isn't the best way to do it, but I have to. "Yes," I answer.

I roll the suitcases with me as I reach the front door.

"Isa," I hear him say lightly. I turn around and look at his face, he's still in the same spot, not knowing what to do. "Are we okay? Are you leaving the house, or are you leaving me?"

I let go of the suitcases, and walk over to him, grabbing his sad face in my hands. "I'm not leaving you Jude, we're okay," I say as I press my lips against his. It's slow, and full of love. "I love you."

"I love you too," he says back.

I back away from him and walk towards the front door again. "I'm just leaving to work on my music, I promise."

He nods, "okay, I understand."

"I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay."

I open the door and push my luggage out first, before turning back towards him one last time, "Bye Jude."

He sends me a weak smile and a little wave, "Bye isa."

I turn around and look at the outside of the house. My feet haven't moved yet, but I can't turn back around. If I do, I'll see his face, and I'll decide to stay.

I let out the breath I was holding, and with all of the power in me, I walk out and close the door behind me.

If it's not wrong, why do I feel so bad?

I don't know.

☆.｡.:*

Isa
I'm on my way to the airport
you can still pick me up right?

Joao
Of course

Isa
Thank you
I'm sorry btw
I didn't know Danna had plans tonight

Joao
Don't worry about it
It's no burden Isa

Isa
and thank you for not telling Jude
I know you guys have gotten really close

Joao
It's okay
I know why you didn't want to tell him
and I know he'll understand
You sure you're going to be okay?
yk without him

Isa
yeah
he needs his full focus on football right now
and I need it on my career too
it's for the better

Joao
It is
okay, let me know when you land then

Isa
okay, love you Joao
so so much

Joao
love you too isa.

☆.｡.:*