What Now?

An Introduction to Toying w/ Life

Katie and I liked to play chicken. We'd walk down the semi-busy street lined with small shops and convenience stores, sharing secrets and telling stories about a life we dreamed of. "Hey Bec," she called as my tongue hung to the side in concentration, while I tried to balance across the long curb.

"Hmm?" I responded, without peering up from my feet.

"Do you believe in fate?" she asked.

I scrunched my face, trying to figure out where she was going with this, but only drew a blank. She continued, having not received a response. "Like, we are destined to live a certain way, not matter how much we try to change it. Or like..." she paused trying to find the words. I patiently waited for her to continue, finally looking up to see her lost in thought.

Finally, she continued. "Like, death, right? No matter what we do, if we are meant to die then it's gonna happen, no matter how hard we try to avoid it. And if that's the case, why try?"

I took a moment to consider what she'd said. Could that be possible? Could we all have a predestined end date, with no true way of altering it. Like, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be?

"Cause," she continued, "if we just accept that, doesn't it put the power back in our hands? Like, it makes everything a little less...scary."

"How?" I asked.

"Well, if we just accept that fate is destined to decide, then maybe we don't have to be so careful. We can take more risks and have more fun, knowing that if it's really our time, then...oh well. If it's going to happen anyway, why fear it? Why not just embrace life while we have it?"

"I mean...that makes sense I guess," I agreed, even though I really wasn't sure how I truly felt. All I knew what that Katie was my savior. My protector. My best friend. If she thought that, then she was probably right.

"Cool in that case, why don't we play a game."