My mother insisted I bring donuts in for the class. I don't remember if it was a party or what the reason was, but I do remember hoping it would win me favor with the kids, at least a little bit. We got up extra early, so we could get the best pick at the local pastry shop. I made sure to pick ones with bright icing and extra sprinkles.
When I was dropped off at school, I was hopeful. I was sure I'd win over at least a couple of classmates with the two dozen specialty donuts I had tediously picked out just for them.
That bout of hopefulness shattered as I face planted onto the cement, crushing the donuts beneath me. I peeled myself off the ground, uniform covered in a sickly rainbow of toppings. They laughed. They all laughed.
"Nice going, fatty."
"Watch your step next time, dumb ass."
"It's not like a little dirt'll stop her from pigging out."
It went on and on, and I was frozen. I wanted it to be over. I wanted to forget everything. I hated myself.
Stupid. Clumsy. Worthless. Fat. Useless. Lonely. Please, just let me disappear.
YOU ARE READING
What Now?
Non-FictionLooking back, Becca's life is nothing more than a combination of blips. Little memories leading up to uncover what made her the person she is today. Will reliving her pain and trauma finally bring some closure, or will she continue to spiral with no...
