Star Drifting

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE THREAT

Edited 9/9/2024

"You know... we've never had sex for real."

Trent and I were laid next to each other in his silk-sheeted bed. I always liked staying in this bed. For some reason, it always gave me some odd sense of comfort. Maybe it's the thick blanket, blasting AC, and the cool touch of the sheets. Maybe it was Trent. The same guy who was tangled up in my limbs, his half-naked body stacking heat under the blanket. Thankfully, David got back when we were done with our...activities. Now, he was knocked out in his own bed across the room.

"I guess we haven't." I dismissed his statement, sleep consuming me. I couldn't even keep my eyes open, especially after all we just did. Even through the closed eyes and darkness in the room, I could still feel his eyes piercing me. I dared not look back.

Trent and I were an odd pair. In a way, we understood each other well, worked with each other well, felt each other well. And yet, there was always something holding me back. The feeling only made me feel worse as I realized I may not be satisfied with Trent. But I wanted to be satisfied with Trent. Yet part of me kept beating over and over endlessly. Soon, I realized I wanted- needed something that Trent couldn't provide. A feeling that needed to be invoked, that he couldn't. A touch, a taste, a smell that was never really Trent, but I forced myself to believe it was.

What a stupid thought.

To think it was anything but him.

"...are you not comfortable with it yet?" Trent spoke into the silence, bringing me back to reality.

"Not sure-"

"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it. But I want you to. I'm asking you to open up to me, Sven. Just let me know if you're ok with talking about this."

" I don't know. It just... doesn't feel right right now. Is that ok? I know you're used to that and all-."

"Don't compare yourself to me, especially not in that regard. I know I have a reputation for...this stuff. But it still means a lot to me. I want to do it with you. I want to take this to the next level. And usually, if I hadn't had sex with the other person yet, I would lose interest, but...I can't get you out of my head. Ever. Is that weird?"

I let out a small laugh, reaching out and drawing myself nearer to him, resting my head on his chest. From this position, I could sense it all. His strong muscles, the warmth emanating from his body, but what captivated me the most was the rhythm of his heart. I could feel the rapid beating below me and wondered if that was what was beating within me. If my heart is what I would feel. But I knew the answer. There's more to it than a simple heart. It was as if I embodied the very essence of that beating rather than merely containing it within me.

"Nah, I'm pretty cool, so I get why."

Trent's breathless laugh erupted in the dark room.

"Yeah, you are pretty cool. I wish I knew more about you.."

"...I wish I knew more about myself."

"Care to explain?"

"You know I don't really...have my memories, right?"

"Yeah, I overheard it a few times. Didn't want to believe it till I heard it from you, though."

"Well, it's true. My only real memories are from when I crashed in that desert to now. I keep having these little visions or flashes of memory, and sometimes, I swear I hear things from the future. I promise I'm not insane. But that's it. Otherwise nothing. The closest memory I have is from the first day we got here. I had a deep daydream, and it all felt so real, but I'm not sure. Maybe it was the stress at the time?"