Never Knew

Chapter 18 - Fire and desire

Playlist for this chapter: Renegade by Aaryan Shah, under the Influence by Chris brown, I Was Never There by The Weeknd, friends by Chase Atlantic. 

"The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long"-Lao Tzu

Evelyn's POV

That's what me and Ashton had, shared pain, a shared reputation, something that started too passionate all too fast. It was never meant to last as long as it did anyway, silly me for thinking it could. Was it the end? 

I'm sitting on my bed and Jax hasn't moved an inch, I feared that if either one of us moved at this moment we'd do something we were unsure of. So, I damn near held my breath until he spoke. I heard someone knock on my door which alarmed me. 

"Hey, you okay I saw the new post, you want to talk about it?" My brother asks through the closed door. 

"I'm fine, we'll talk tomorrow," I yell, neither Jax nor I have taken our eyes off one another. I notice the way his arms swell under his black, long-sleeve, not too much but just right. I notice the way his already dark eyes turn almost black as he stares into what feels like the deepest parts of me. 

"What do you want Jax? Why are you in here with me?" I ask, tired of the games. I scan him for some sign of nervousness, his weight shifting from one foot to another, a fiddling of the fingers, but he's as collected as collected gets. He doesn't answer my question right away. 

- - -

Jax's POV

I'm trying to keep it together to keep my composure, but how the fuck am I supposed to. Every male instinct in my body wants to rip her clothes off, every other human instinct wants to comfort her. When Ashton answered the phone I had an incredulous look on my face, because what the actual hell? I've known him for as long as I can remember, this isn't him. Something else is going on, but to Evelyn, that would sound like another excuse. She's clearly not the type to put up with cheating and she shouldn't have to. Her heart is broken, I'm not going to take advantage of that. No matter how badly I want to kiss her and feel her skin I don't even know if she's ever looked at me that way. 

Fuck, Ashton's going to murder me if he finds out I've been here all night with her alone. But he shouldn't have been screwing some female that he doesn't even care about while the one he does care about is aching inside. Dumb move. 

"Well?" She asks, encouraging me to answer her question. 

Her blonde strips of hair sticking out from the bottom. Her pouty lips, taunt me, telling me they're not mine to kiss and never were. She's leaning on her hands, her palms facing the opposite side of me, her figure eminent even under the dim lighting. 

"I just want to be here for you." I lie, it wasn't a complete lie, it just wasn't the whole truth. 

She eyes me suspiciously, carefully, as if she could see right through me. She cocks her head to the side and slides off her shoes. 

"Come here." She challenges. This makes my heart rate increase. But I do as she says, without a second thought. I think I'd do anything she tells me to. I lay beside her, looking up at her ceiling, an arm behind my head with my legs hanging off the bed. She lets herself plop down on the bed, not leaning on her hands anymore. I can feel her staring at the side of my face, but I don't move.