Never Knew

Chapter 14 - I'll take care of you

Evelyn's POV

     So much of this world is pain, so much of it is enduring that pain and turning it into lessons learned. At least that's what everybody says, but what if it's all for nothing? I pray every night for forgiveness, I pray for my family and friends, and I try not to be selfish when doing so. I try not to ask for money or "beauty".  I'm aware of how blessed I am but addiction doesn't discriminate. It made the worst parts of me visible to the naked eye. There was a point where I couldn't hide the withdrawals when I tried to stop. The cold sweats, the stomach cramps, the restless legs. I shiver just remembering not being able to keep food down. I thank God every day that I'm not stuck in that dark place anymore and to please keep me away from it for as long as I live. 

"Love is an irresistible desire, to be irresistibly desired,"-Robert Frost 

I put my book down and started getting ready for class, surprisingly I hadn't run into any trouble or heard any whispers. I guess college is just different from high school (thankfully) I had literature with Ashton today. I walk over to my closet and pick out some black leggings and a white sweatshirt that falls off my shoulder, I touch the necklace Ashton gave me absentmindedly. I put on the ruby earrings Jax gave me for my birthday and put on the bracelet I got from the girls as a present as well. I pick out some white sneakers, apply some lip gloss and concealer, and let my hair fall messily in waves. 

Once I get to the kitchen, I hug my parents and pat my brother on the head, he rolls his eyes at this. I grab an apple and kiss them goodbye since Ashton's driving me to school. 

- - -

"Why do you always look so beautiful, no matter what you're wearing." Ashton compliments me, I smile at him. My nerves are shot today for some reason, hence my hands trembling. He frowns because nothing gets past him. 

"Just pretend you don't notice Ash, it's nothing," I say quickly, moving my hair behind my ear. He places his hand on my thigh and starts the engine. 

- - - 

Ashton was walking me to class when I dropped the textbook, I was holding in my hand along with my notebooks. He comes here, I should've fucking known that. Oh my God, it's never going to stop. He's going to see me, and the rumors are going to start again. I need to go home. Ashton bends down to try and help me with my books as I'm fumbling them trying to grab them first. He sees how badly my hands are shaking now. 

"Evelyn, what's wrong baby?" He whispers. 

But I can't hear him, because he saw me. The guy that had raped me, was my boyfriend at the time. Elijah. He was fucking smiling at me like he knew the power he thought he still had over me. I hated him. 

"Evelyn, Evelyn!" Ashton repeated until I finally looked at him. I got up without looking at him again and just told him I had to go home. He looks back to where I was looking, and Elijah is staring at both of us now with a smirk on his fucking face. I grab Ashton's hand and tell him I'll Uber home and that he shouldn't miss class. I start making my way towards the exit. I can hear him follow shortly behind me. 

"Evelyn who was that guy? Eve stop walking away from me!" He says exasperated. I push past the double doors and the cold metal on my hands is the only thing reminding me I'm not in some fucked up nightmare. 

"Babe, I'll take you home just talk to me! You promised we wouldn't shut each other out ever again!" He yells. I turn around to face him with tears in my eyes.