A God Wannabe In Tensura

[Ch 3.8] Medicine

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. . .

After what felt like eternity of me just questioning myself even when I'm unconscious

I open my eyes and sees that I'm in what felt like a futon inside a Japanese style room

. . . ‘ah yea... I was in Rimuru's house...’

Looking around I could see that Veldora is also in the room with me, still laying down and reading manga

Rimuru however, is nowhere to be seen

. . . ‘he is a busy slime afterall’

As I was about to look out on Rimuru's whereabouts...

“So are you feeling better now?”

...Veldora speaking causes me to pause that plan

“I don't feel anything different, what do you mean?”

“Really?”

His unconvinced voice confuse me but before I could inquire further, Rimuru appeared

“Are you okay?” Rimuru immediately asked upon coming closer

“I'm fine, I don't feel anything different from before. Why ask?”

“You've been crying in your sleep for almost a whole day now” he explained with worry in his voice

. . . ‘wha-?’

<<It's true>>

“I-i see...” I don't know what to think of it...

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I'm not sure...” Rimuru looked somewhat disappointed by my answer

So before he got the wrong idea, I continued “...of what to even talk about”

Rimuru went silent for a moment before suggesting “how about why were you crying in your sleep?”

I do wonder why... I have a few guesses though

The most likely one is because of my nonstop questions, be it from my conscious or subconscious mind, which resulted in my body reacting the way it did

So then, what do I say to Rimuru now?

. . . “I guess I just have a lot piled up in my mind, and... she leaving... even after all of...” with eyes full of water, I can't continue to speak...

I try and try to speak but no words can come out, I can feel my heart is frozen cold and I can't ignore the pain for some reason...

. . . ‘Why am I looking at this... I don't want to see that miserable thing...’ with that said, I forced myself to look away from myself

Anyhow, my subconscious is keeping me alive despite the immense pain, so I guess I'll just have to live with it

. . . ‘am I... somewhat secretly a masochist?’

I can't help but mentally laugh at that stupid realization

. . . ‘heh, that eases the pain by quite a bit. Laughter really is the best medicine’

Little did I know, I was proven wrong just a second after I thought that

“I don't think I can understand what you feel right now, but I know it must've been quite painful”  Rimuru embraces me in his arms