London Blue

Chapter 21. Guilt.

Author's Note: Story so far ... suspicion has fallen on Nick that he might be more than just a bank trader. Emily met Paul and Katie (the characters from The Love Box Experiment/London Red book) and Katie's dad is a detective with Scotland Yard. Emily and Scott borrowed a catamaran and had a bust-up over discoveries unearthed by Emily. And we know now that Emily persuaded Scott to surgically plant a micro-chip under her rib cage. 

The Angel perfume was the first thing she smelt when she woke, although it took time for Emily to decide where she was. In her own bed, curled up with Jess behind, her friend's hand draped over her shoulder. Last night Emily cried, a release of pent up emotions over Scott. The alcohol helped as she and Jess fell into bed together. Both ripped each other's clothes off, as if it needed to be now or never, before Emily could change her mind. Their sex enveloped everything, all common sense gone, all reasoning discarded.

She tried to analyse whether their deed meant anything. Whether she had regrets? How she felt towards Jess? She thought back to the conversation with Michael in Starbucks, a short time after she got the job at the art gallery. It was the first time she blurted to him, or to anybody, she possessed any sort of sexual feelings for Jess. Michael had advised her to concentrate on Scott before she came to any conclusions. Well, she thought, nothing had changed. What happened last night ... just happened.

The hand on her shoulder slipped down to cover Emily's breast. Her nipple hardened. Jessica's words in Emily's ear made her smile. 'Fuck. Fuck me.' The four second silence seemed a long time. 'That's what you screamed last night.'

Emily rolled onto her back, Jessica moved back to give her room, they kissed. 'Ever since Scott first made love to me,' said Emily, 'when he brought me tea in bed, I've had orgasms like never before. It's like a dam has burst open. And last night was no exception.'

'Well, that's good. At least I can give as good as Scott.'

Emily didn't have to ask Jess if her climax felt good. It had been obvious. 'I think I feel guilty,' said Emily. 'I liked it, but I shouldn't. Does that make sense?'

'Total sense. Scott must come first. Forgive him for holding back a couple of secrets and get on with your life.'

'And what about you? About us?'

'Emily darling. We love each other. But we're not going to set up home together. Put this down to experience.'

'I love Scott.' It occurred to her it wouldn't be a good idea to tell him about jumping into bed with Jessica. Emily couldn't predict his reaction. Yet if he did find out, would she admit she enjoyed the night with her best friend. It didn't make her a lesbian. She wasn't even sure she was bisexual ... it seemed too strong a label for the feelings she had for one woman.

'And,' said Jessica, 'I love men and their cocks. But I can still have feelings for you.'

A sound of a car honking outside in the street, followed by a shout from a passer-by, distracted Emily. A thought came to her. 'We could share a flat and live in a quieter area.' She sat up. 'Gosh. Look at the time.'

They got ready for work by sharing the bathroom and ate breakfast together. Emily phoned Scott. He would be at the hospital already and, as expected, her phone call to him went into his voicemail. He would be busy, she'd get a return call as soon as Scott got free. 'Hello, darling.' She paused to think of the right words. 'Sorry I haven't returned your calls ... I needed time to think. Call me when you can.'

The above was excluded from the finished book as I decided the two girls would not actually have sex.