𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄 ☆ Sirius Black ✔️ *slowly editing*

t h i r t y s i x

The next morning, I drag myself down to the Great Hall for breakfast and make my way to the Gryffindor table, where my friends are already seated. Sirius is nowhere to be seen, and a pang of guilt gnaws at my stomach. Did he avoid breakfast because of me?

Marlene notices me first and waves me over. "Morning, Ellie. How are you holding up?"

I force a weak smile. "I'm okay, I guess."

Lily gives me a sympathetic look as I sit down next to her. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, just tired," I reply, avoiding her gaze. My eyes are puffy and red from crying, and I don’t want either of them to pity me.

Marlene, who's sitting across from me, raises an eyebrow. “Have you seen Sirius yet?"

I shrug nonchalantly, trying to appear unfazed. "No. He's probably still sleeping."

Luckily, neither of them push any further, and the conversation around the table continues without me. I had hoped to talk to Sirius before breakfast, but after last night's events, no one wanted to walk alone, and instead, they left the Gryffindor Tower in hives. This turned the common room into a waiting area, and I couldn’t sneak upstairs.

I need to explain myself. I need to know that we are okay, as I can't shake the feeling that last night was a breakup. Every time the doors to the Great Hall swing open, my heart jumps, hoping it's Sirius walking in, but each time, it's just another student entering.

Where is he?

Finally, just as I'm about to give up hope, the doors creak open once more, and Sirius strides into the hall with the rest of the Marauders. His usual confident swagger is absent, replaced by a tense expression that doesn't go unnoticed by Marlene and Lily.

“He’ll come around,” Lily assures me with a smile. “You did nothing wrong.”

I didn’t tell him that his brother was becoming a Death Eater. That’s not nothing. Sure, Remus was the one who asked me to keep quiet, but I should have told him anyway. I made a mistake.

Sirius makes his way over to the Gryffindor table, his eyes briefly meeting mine before he takes a seat next to James. The atmosphere around the table shifts, and an awkward silence settles over us.

"Morning," James says, trying to break the tension. Remus gives me an apologetic smile, but I don’t return it. I can’t help but feel that Remus threw me under the bus by telling Sirius about Regulus. He could have kept my name out of it… even if it would have been a lie.

The rest of the meal passes in strained silence, with only the occasional clatter of cutlery breaking the quiet. I steal glances at Sirius from time to time, but he keeps his gaze fixed on his plate, his expression unreadable.

As the last of the food disappears from our plates, James clears his throat, breaking the silence. "So, what's the plan for today?"

No one answers immediately, the tension still thick in the air. But then Lily speaks up, trying to inject some normalcy into the conversation. "I was thinking we could spend some time in the library. There are a few assignments I need to work on."

Marlene groans, “It’s Sunday, and you want to study?”

“After yesterday, I’ll be busy with Head Girl duties and patrolling. Today is the only free time I have for studying. Besides, didn’t you need my help with Transfiguration?” Lily responds with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine,” Marlene pouts.

James looks around the table, waiting for everyone to weigh in. When he sees that no one else objects, he nods. "Alright then, library it is."