𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄 ☆ Sirius Black ✔️ *slowly editing*

f o r t y

Just as nobody knew about our relationship, now everyone knows about our breakup.

Everywhere I go, people whisper, point, and make crude remarks that I do my best to ignore.

“It's all in your head,” Marlene argues during Charms when I tell her about the three girls who stopped talking the moment I entered the bathroom.

“Chloe Thompson tripped me yesterday,” I remind her. It's true. Chloe, a seventh-year Ravenclaw, waited for me outside the Potion classroom, and just as I walked through the threshold, she stuck out her foot, resulting in me tripping in front of the entire class. Including Sirius, who was quick to offer his hand to help me up, but I ignored him and nearly fell back on my arse as I struggled to get up on my own.

“That's because she's a—”

“Marlene!” Lily hisses and nods towards Professor Flitwick, who's making his rounds and is right behind us. Luckily, if he did overhear us, he chooses to ignore it and move to the next table.

“I'm telling you, people are acting as if I'm public enemy number one,” I try again before dramatically crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on top. From this angle, I have the perfect view of Sirius, who's drawing doodles on a piece of paper, only hiding it under a book whenever Remus nudges him as Professor Flitwick approaches. He looks unfazed by the breakup, his hair carefully tamed and pushed back, no bags under his eyes, and unlike me, he didn't put his shirt on backward only for Professor McGonagall to point it out. “Who do you think it is?”

“Who?” Lily asks without looking up from the assignment we've been given time to do in class.

“The girl he kissed?” I feel a pair of grey eyes looking at me and quickly divert my gaze.

“Why not just ask him?” Marlene says in a tone that many might interpret as rude, when in fact she just has a low tolerance for bullshit. Her words, not mine.

“I'm not talking to him.”

“You know, you can't avoid him forever,” she continues. “We are going to hang out with him eventually.”

“No,” I begin, lifting my head from the table and glancing at her. “You are going to hang out with him eventually. I have no intention of doing so.”

Marlene rolls her eyes, clearly exasperated. “Listen, Ellie, I know you're hurting, but avoiding Sirius isn't going to make things better. You need closure.”

“Closure?” I scoff, feeling a surge of frustration. “What closure? He kissed another girl, Marlene. There's nothing left to say.”

Lily finally looks up from her work, her expression sympathetic.

I bite my lip, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. I'm not going to be the girl who broke down in the middle of Charms; that won't help get people off my back. “I just don't understand why he did it. Everything was going so well until Magnus, which wasn't even my fault, and then...”

“And then he screwed it up,” Marlene finishes for me, her tone softened. “Look, I'm not defending him, but maybe there's more to the story. Have you tried talking to him?”

I shake my head, feeling a lump form in my throat. “I can't. Every time I see him, it's like a dagger through my heart — or in my back. Sometimes, it's both.”

“Well, avoiding him won't make those feelings go away,” Lily points out gently. “Maybe it's time to face him and get some answers.”

I chew on my bottom lip, considering their words. Maybe they're right. Maybe I do need to talk to Sirius and confront him about what happened. But the thought of facing him, of seeing the hurt and betrayal in his eyes, is almost too much to bear.