Call It What You Want To

Chapter 15: Taya

K: can we talk? like in person?

I stared at Kyler's text for probably a good few minutes after I got out of the shower. It was the Monday after my meet, and we had an e-learning day out of school while teachers were prepping for the parent-teacher conferences for later this week, where we had an actual day off of school.

I didn't hear from Ky yesterday, but I assumed that she was just as tired as I was after Saturday. I slept through almost the whole day, spending my waking hours working on the homework that I had due before starting my online homework. I felt bad admitting that I had kinda forgotten to text her in the morning, especially after we had kissed.

We kissed. We kissed and it was so electrifying that all I wanted to do was kiss Kyler over and over again, and I did. All during the meet and on the drive home, I took time to plant little kisses up and down Kyler's arms and jawline, occasionally revisiting her lips. It felt like a million little sparklers burning in my heart that were lighting up the places that I thought could never see the light of day again.

This text made my heart drop into my stomach. Did I read everything wrong? I felt like the kiss at the meet was very much a mutual thing, and we were both all over each other physically the rest of the day. She never told me to stop it, but did I cross a line? Was she mad that I forgot to text her? Did she wanna tell me I'm a bad kisser?

"What did I do?" I continually asked myself while blow drying my hair. I still hadn't texted Kyler back after almost twenty minutes of receiving the message because I was too busy reeling in my mind about everything wrong I could have possibly done.

I had really started to fall for Kyler and begin to feel safe around her. When I got home Saturday night, my dad asked if we stayed safe while we were gone and I told him that we were fine. In reality, it was more than fine. Being with Kyler was the most secure I had ever felt and the way she held me, whether it was with her arms or in her eyes, it felt like the world couldn't touch me at all. It was as if everything was okay and I didn't have to worry about whether I mattered or not to the people around me, because Ky's arms wrapping me against her reassured that I mattered to her. But, now I was questioning everything.

After trying to ignore the text physically for as long as I could, I finally texted Kyler that she could come over if she wanted to today, but I was immediately hit back with a text that she didn't wanna talk at my house. Kyler wanted to "talk on neutral ground".

Talk on neutral ground, what the fuck did that mean?

T: Okay, I probably can't until about 1 then, I'm watching Mila until my dad gets back from his meeting.

Kyler agreed to that and asked if we could meet at this little park that was about halfway between the both of us, and I agreed. Great, I now had four hours to totally overthink this and let it consume my every thought!

Trying to distract myself, I got to work on an essay I had coming up for my psychology class. Taya and I were both taking the same class, just at different times, so we had been helping each other with the essays. Writing the essay made me think of Ky, and I wound up right back up to the topic I was trying to avoid.

My sister, being the queen of timing, was luckily able to distract me long enough to kind of forget about my meeting with Kyler later today. Meeting? What were we, business partners? I mean, to be fair, we were at one point but that was more of a business arrangement...eh, call it what you want.

I filled my time by sharing it with my other homework and Mila, who had been making insane improvements fundamentally in the last month or so. The physical therapist that Mila visited once a week had been helping with her major motor skills and this kid was quite literally on a roll now. Mila found it absolutely hysterical to do this thing where she'd just roll around like a log down a hill, and if I'm being honest it was funny as hell.