Loud and Clear (F1 x CL16)

24. Contradictory

It was a week later. I stayed in the hospital for three days and then got the news to stay in bed and rest. Which is exactly what I did on Thursday, until I got the news that they still needed a driver to race for Ferrari. And now I was in the garage, watching my car being prepared for someone else. But I've never been more happy with my choice.

Thursday
"How are you?" Charles asked as he walked in with a cup of tea.
"Fine. I'm just tired of resting." I said honestly.
Charles gave me the cup and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I know you're not happy that you can't race, but Mattia just called. He needs a driver. He'll call you in five minutes." He put his hand on my leg, which was in a cast. "He wants your opinion on the drivers."
I gave him a weak smile. "Alright."
He stood up and squeezed my hand shortly before leaving the room again.
I kept a close eye on my phone and waited for the phone call. After three minutes my ringtone started playing. I reached for my phone with trembling hands and pushed on the green button.
"Good morning, Mattia."
"Morning, Brigitte. I guess Charles already talked with you?" Mattia said over the phone.
"He did. Do you have a list?" I asked.
"Just a few. They're all our reserve drivers, except for one that is already in the field." I raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Who might that be?" I asked.
"Sainz. We once made a deal that he could join Ferrari if one of you left." Mattia answered.
"Alright." This news was a shot to the head, but I needed to focus. I wasn't the only one he made a deal with, but that wasn't important right now.
All the reserve drivers were inexperienced... they were F2 drivers and were no where near to a team as good as Ferrari. "Mattia, do you want my opinion, or do you want me to choose?"
Mattia sighed over the phone. "I think that your choosing is the smartest decision we can take right now."
I took a deep breath. My mind was made up. But was it the best? "Sainz." How would he handle it with McLaren? In a day he had to race for Ferrari and leave McLaren. Who would race for them?
"Alright. I'll call him right up—"
"Wait!" I quickly interrupted. "Can I do it?"
"Of course, Brigitte. But you do know that you can't race anymore for Ferrari this season if we choose him?" Mattia asked to make sure.
"I'm willing to give up my seat for this season. I need to recover, and he deserves this chance." I answered in full honesty.
"You're a great person, Brigitte. You are, and always will be a true member of Ferrari." And then he hung up.
The words from Mattia lingered in my head as I dialed Carlos' number. I let my finger rest on the call button and took a deep breath.
This was it.
One ring, two rings...
"Brie?" Carlos' voice sounded through the phone.
"Hey Carlos." I said with a shaky voice.
"Are you alright?" He sounded worried.
"In an hour time you'll officially be a Ferrari driver. Congrats." I wanted to be happy for him, but my heart just broke into pieces.
"Brie, my god, you didn't..." Carlos said in disbelief. "I'm coming over." And I got hung up again.
The tears started streaming and I doubled over, my ribs hurting at the movement. I sobbed as loud as I could, not caring if Charles could hear it. He did, because I heard footsteps at the other side of the door. The door swept open and a second later I was in his arms. He shushed as he rocked me slowly in his arms, holding my head firm against his chest.
We stayed like that for a while. We didn't say a word. He just let me sob it all out and eventually pulled away a bit. "You're so strong." Charles said as he lifted my face up by placing his fingers under my chin.
A single tear fell off my cheek. "I never imagined that I would need to give up my seat so soon." My voice was shaky and I never felt more fragile.
"You'll be back next year. I'll help with your revalidation. You'll be back." He pulled me back in his arms and held me close to him. A knock on the door made us part after a minute.
Carlos.
I sat up straight and Charles quickly went to the front door.
"Hey mate." Charles greeted.
"Hey, is she there?" Carlos asked and a second later I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.
"Hi Carlos." I greeted him as he pushed the door open slightly.
"Hey warrior." He greeted me back. "You really are nuts, huh?" He asked.
I let out a broken laugh. "So are you." I said and patted the space beside me on the bed.
"Thank you, Brie." He said as he sat down beside me, his hand resting on mine. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
My eyes closed for a second. "I once was in your shoes." I took a deep breath. "You deserve this. And maybe I'll be back next season, maybe not, but do know that you deserve this." I looked straight into his eyes and looked how they sparkled. He was so excited, but he didn't want to show it to me.
He hugged me, and I returned the hug. "Thank you." He whispered in my ear, and for the first time since the incident my heart felt whole again.
"So who will race for McLaren?"