I DIDN'T KNOW

Chapter 3

"Now you need to buy me a drink."

Her voice kissed my ears and I couldn't be happier. Today it was cold, no sign of rain though. Thank goodness because we are not about to make a habit from yesterday. Olivia is someone I'm starting to consider as my stress reliver.

"That's why I'm here, since I don't have your line this was the only way I knew to see you again." Today after a long time, I don't want to be alone. "Wanted to apologize about yesterday. And if you don't mind I would like to have your number so I could buy that drink after you get off work." Removing my phone so she can punch her digits.

"Would be looking forward to that Mr. James." The way she just said my name makes my trouser tighter. This is the sign I should take and run away, this road isn't the right path, I know it my body knows it. Olivia is starting to cement herself in my head. Last night she's all I thought about. "I've called myself so I can have your number as well. That means I will gladly remind you if you happen to forget." Trust me I wouldn't. to be honest I wish I can forget.

"well thank you. See you later." I say and starting walking to work. I hear her energy as it comes to life. She honks to me as she passes. Turning to the other direction. Smiling to myself, today feels like it will be a great day.

Work was depressing, everyone reminded me why I hated being there during these days. I can't even breathe without someone monitoring my heart rate.

A knock disturbs me once again.

"Come in." should have pretended to not be in,

The door opens, and mom walks in with a smile I can't help but copy. Stepping out of my desk, we hug as we both take a seat. "Ma you should have called," I get up, head to the fridge and us some drinks and water bottles.

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Or maybe you wanted to see if I showed up, I take it you talked to Layla." Is my voice sounding judgmental?

"She's just worried about you Spencer."

"I'm the only one who needs to be doing the worrying, what if something happens and I'm not there." She holds my hands. "Every time I look in the mirror, those scars are haunting me." The only time I slept was with Olivia and that's not healthy.

"Does your hand still hurt?"

"I'm fine but she isn't,"

"Spencer you can't keep blaming yourself, maybe you should see someone." And say what to the stranger, that I freeze up whenever I pass by the place I was shot at, that my wife had cancer and I'm scared that will be back at the hospital again. No thank you.

"I'm knocking off early today."

She knows I don't want to talk about this, in fact today I spoke more and I have had enough for one day. We can resume another day, hope she picks up on that. "Oh, we can go together, I want to go see Layla." Thanking her with my eyes for dropping the conversation.

Now isn't that just fantastic. "I'll find you there, I'm meeting with a friend." Before she can assume who, it is. "I made a new friend, so I'll meet you home."

"That's...good. Just don't stay up late drinking with this young man." Okay. We can go with that.

"Don't tell her anything though."

"Spencer?"

"I just don't want her to worry." The last thing I want is for her to stay up waiting for me in her condition.

"alright, don't be home late."

She leaves, and all the emotions I was keeping away just come crushing. I hate this. I hate this...slumming my hand on the table. Pain shoot through feeling it all the way to my toes. The door is pushed open by a co-worker.