𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐄 ☆ Sirius Black ✔️

t h i r t y e i g h t

If anyone had told me a year ago that I would be here waiting - sitting on the edge of Sirius Black's bed for what feels like hours, my fingers tracing absent-minded patterns on the soft fabric of the duvet - I would have called them crazy. Because Eileen Davies does not wait around for a boy. Yet, here I am.

The events of the day replay in my mind like a broken record, each moment etched into my memory with painful clarity. The laughter, the kisses, the joy of giving Sirius his birthday present - it all feels like a distant dream now, a fleeting moment of happiness.

The record and the wrapping paper sitting on the nightstand, a reminder of the morning, is now mocking me. I trace the edges of the record with trembling fingers as I replay our last conversation in my mind, the hurt and confusion etched into Sirius's features as he turned and walked away.

The memory stings like an open wound. After not seeing him at lunch or dinner, I had sneaked upstairs, hoping he would come back, that we could talk things through. But as the minutes tick by and he fails to return, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach grows stronger. I messed up. It wasn't my fault, but it was my past and it came back to bite me in the arse. Hard!

Tears blur my vision as I struggle to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. The room feels stifling, suffocating, and I long to escape, to flee from the suffocating weight of my own thoughts.

But even as I entertain the idea of leaving the boys' dormitory, coming to terms with the fact that I'll see him in the morning. I know that I can not. I can not leave without facing Sirius explaining to him that nothing happened and we can go back to how we were. It's amazing how much can happen in just twelve hours.

So, I wait. I wait for him to return, for him to face me and tell me what I already know deep down in my heart - that it's over between us. Because what we have is fragile. That's what happens when two people who don't do love, try to fool themselves that they can make a relationship work. Of course we can't! We have been dating for three months and I have yet to be comfortable with people knowing.

My thoughts are interrupted, when the door creaks open, and Peter slips into the room, his eyes widening in surprise as he sees me sitting on Sirius's bed. His usual cheerful expression falters, replaced by a look of concern. "What... what are you doing here?"

I look up, my eyes swollen and red from unshed tears. I manage a weak smile, trying to push away the pain that threatens to consume me. "Just waiting for Sirius. Have you seen him?"

Peter hesitates, his gaze flickering towards the door as if expecting Sirius to walk in at any moment. "Uh, yeah, I saw him in the common room a little while ago. He seemed... upset."

My heart sinks at his words, the weight of the truth settling over me like a heavy shroud. "Did he say anything? Is he okay?"

Peter shifts uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze. "He didn't say much, just mumbled something about needing some air. You know how he is."

A surge of frustration courses through me. "Peter, please. I need to talk to him. Can you find him for me?."

He glances around as if searching for an escape route. "Look, Ellie, I... I don't want to get involved in whatever's going on between you two. Sirius seemed pretty worked up, and I thought maybe he needed some space."

The reality of the situation hits me like a punch to the gut. Sirius needs space. He needs space from me. The realisation stings, but I refuse to let the tears spill over again. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling voice. "Peter, please. I just want to understand. Can you tell me where he went?"

Peter's eyes dart towards the door again, and I can see the conflict in his gaze. "I don't know, Ellie. He didn't say where he was going. Just that he needed to clear his head."