Im Preggers???

Chappie Four<33

The day went on after that, with me being stared at and flirted with. But I was excited for Seth's party.

I mean, I get invited to A LOT of parties, but this one is being thrown by a guy who looks like a model for Casual Male XL.

He was so hot, with his sweaty unibrow and fold after fold of blubber like fat. His dark eyes that resembled earwax, his stubby legs, his poop colored greasy hair... It gave me the shivers just thinking about him.

I went home on my Team Umizoomi tricycle, and walked through the dirty front door that's practically falling off it's hinges.

I live in a small two story house, with chipping brown paint on the shingles that were infested with fungus and termites.

The inside smelled of beer and cigarettes from my mother. I waded through a foot of my moms garbage that littered the floor- mostly beer bottles, cigarette bottles, used condoms and pregnancy tests.

My bedroom was the only room that didnt have all this on the floor. Instead, my floor was littered with chicken cutlets and earwax.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!" I screamed. "IM HOME! WHERE ARE YOU???"

I heard a moaning noise coming from my mom's room. Sighing, I waded through the garbage and burst through the door.

There was a moving lump under the covers, and my mother's head popped out.

"Oh. Hello," she said to me. She wasn't wearing a top.

Suddenly another head came up, and this one belonged to a shirtless man. He was all muscly with a six pack. It's so unattractive.

"Oh, this is Harry."

Of course his eyes widened when he saw me. He scrambled to get out of bed but my mom gripped his arm. She was used to her boyfriends going for me.

"What happened to Richard?" I asked. Yesterday I found my mom in the closet with a British doctor.

"Oh, he's over there eating a sandwich.

I whipped around and saw Richard sitting on a stool with boxers on, eating a turkey sandwich.

"Hello Gertrude," he said.

I didn't respond.

"I'm going to a party tonight."

"Kay. Try not to get preggos," she responded lazily, climbing back on top of Harry and making out with him.

"Is it my turn yet?" Richard asked miserably.

"No," my mother answered shortly.

I sighed and walked back into my room to get ready.

I love my mother. Where do you think I got it from?