Im Preggers???

Chappie Seven<33

After checking on my make up one last time and stuffing more chicken cutlets into my bra, I walked outside and got my keys out of my purse. I pushed the pink plastic button on them but nothing happened.

"Fart! It must be out of batteries," I muttered, throwing the barbie keys on the driveway and stomping on them. I walked over to my tricycle and started up the engine.

"VROOOM, VROOM!" I made the sounds with my mouth because the engine on my tricycle was silent for some odd reason.

I peddled down the driveway, which was extremely hard to do in my monkey fur dress.

I traveled on that tricycle for weeks it seemed, enduring furious blizzards, excruciating heat, and rapid thunderstorms. Huffing and puffing, I collapsed on the ground and sighed, staring at my house three feet away.

I noticed that my tricycle was out of gas, and it wouldn't go on. I looked around the driveway for a gas station but there wasn't one in sight. I guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way.

"C'mere little squirrely squirrely! Little obese ball of fluff!" I called to a grey squirrel sitting on a tree branch. It stared at me as I slowly approached it.

I extended my arms, ever so slow-

Ha! I caught the squirrel!

He squirmed around in my fingers, trying to nip and scratch his was out.

"Okay. I'm going to name you Oslotis. That's a good squirrel name, right?" I cooed. The squirrel gave me a strange look.

Not wanting to startle Ossy, I opened the gas tank on my tricycle and held him over it. Suddenly, I squeezed him.

He squealed and struggled.

"COME ON LITTLE SQUIRREL! FART AND MAKE GAS SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH SETH!" I chanted. Ossy yelped as I squeezed the farts out of his fat body.

"Pfft..." I heard, and a cloud of green smoke drifted into the tank. I closed it and released Ossy. I could have sworn he gave me the middle finger, if squirrels could do that.

After my tank was filled up, I hobbled back over to my tricycle and got back on, peddling with slightly more ease. I was able to make it to Seth's three days later.

Seth saw me and he smiled, and raised his unibrow, so it looked like it was doing the worm. Sexy.

"Hi Gertrude, glad you could make it," he says, checking me out. His eyes widen when he sees my dress.

"Oh. My. God. Are you wearing... Monkey fur?" he asks in awe. A coy smile plays on my lips.

"Find out for yourself, my precious avocado platypus." I whisper seductively. His beefy, sweaty hand strokes my dress.

"Oooh..." he says. "Orangutan."

I glance through Seth's window and see tons of ugly people dancing, making out, and taking turns squirting spicy mustard down their pants.

"C'mon, let's go in." Says Seth