The Cat's Out Of The Bag

Chapter Eleven

I stay in that weekend. And next week. And halfway through the other week until my mom decides this "sickness" I have is too severe to not get it checked.

"Please, honey, just a check up. You said something about a sore throat. Maybe it's just a cold, nothing serious, but we need the right medicine so you can go to school soon. You can't keep skipping."

Watch me. "No, I'm sure it's just some sort of bug."

"A 'sort of bug' doesn't last nearly two weeks. Come on, what's really wrong?"

Without looking, I feel her sit next to me on the bed. I say nothing, because what is there to say? One word and I think I'll explode.

But I'll try, for her. Because I know she's trying, too.

"I-I had a fallout with a friend." My voice breaks, and it takes all my willpower to not start weeping.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. But you can't stay home forever."

I look away, burying myself in the covers.

"Fine, let's make a compromise. You go to school Friday, so you only go for a day. If you do fine without your friend, you keep going. If not, we will have another talk."

She's walking out of the room now. I know because I hear her footsteps, but I'm still looking at the ground.

"You can't keep running away, you know that, right?"

I don't nod. I don't say yes, or do anything. I just stay still, because really, why can't I keep running? Why does it always come back to bite me?

And the door closes, and she's gone, and only then do I release all of my tears.

* * * * *

It's Friday, and I'm at school. Not by choice. Never by choice.

My mind is blank as I walk through the halls. I don't even look around for her. I just want to be done with today.

But of course, I have almost every class with her, so I guess I have no choice.

I'm in history now, hearing Mr. Bard babble on about empires or something. Luckily while I was gone he changed the seating chart, so I am no longer right next to Riley. But she's still within view, and I can't help but catch her eye a few times while I'm drifting off.

Her eyes say nothing. Just blank. Just like me.
Maybe she's shocked? Sad? Angry? I don't know, and I'm surely not going to ask to find out. That era of my life is over.

Another pang of sadness at that thought, and I just barely swallow that lump in my throat.

It's art now. I should be happy, but that just means another endless period with Riley who sits right next to me. She says nothing as she sits down, doesn't even glance my way. We just work on our project in silence, like before we knew one another.

The only difference is that Riley had tried to make small talk with me, tried to be friends with the quiet girl she sat next to.

I wish I had listened to her all those months. Maybe then, I wouldn't have kept Star to myself and maybe she would still be my friend, even best friend after I immediately told her where Star was.

Maybe I would have been a better person if I had known her then.

It's lunch, the most gut wrenching period. I'm alone now, back at the library, because I can not bear to be within vicinity of the track, where everything went crumbling down.

My eyes scan the pages, but I'm not really reading. My mind is somewhere else.

I jump as the door opens, because almost no one enters the library. I quietly peek from my place behind a stack of books, and almost yell out in surprise and fear and excitement and every other complicated feeling.

It's Riley. She's frantically searching the library, but I don't think it's for a book.

She keeps scanning the tables and between corners where no book would be. The librarian, Mrs. Dewey suddenly notices her presence and her eyes brighten with happiness.

"Well, hello there! Welcome to the library! Any titles I can help you find?" She asks enthusiastically. Riley lets out a tiny gasp, as if she forgot where she was.

"Oh, no. Just looking around." She says quickly, scanning each row of books. The first. Then the second. Then the third.

I'm hidden in a spot after the sixth row, and now I am sweating immensely. I cannot let her see me.

I grab my book and turn to the back door behind me, an exit.

Just as Riley turns to the last row I sprint out, not even caring about the fact that I just slammed the door after myself. I just run until I make it into a random girls bathroom. I slump down, relief coursing through me at the fact that it's empty.

I shake and hold myself, trying to get myself to read my book, but I can't.

The library is not safe now. She knows I go there. She must have seen me. Why else would she be there? Why is she looking for me? To yell at me some more for my horrible, despicable act?

I creep out from the bathroom and look to the library.

Out of the doors is of course, Riley with no new book. She sits on a bench next to her and just looks around with a defeated expression.

I hide in the bathroom until I'm forced to eat lunch, which I eat in the library, far away from any prying eyes.