Transcendence

9: Conclusion

 She had been restless when she woke up and for hours just sat in bed. She wasn't sure why she had started to reflect on how she had lived her life up until now. She had thought about everything. Leaving Japan, coming home. The path she had taken to get to where she was now. These things she tried not to think about... the things pertaining to him... But the memory of the young heart broken girl still came easy to her. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had only been home for a couple weeks. And she had had such a hard time readjusting to American life.

*****

"Rae, come eat dinner honey." Her mother was met with silence.

"I said come eat honey." She sat inside her room, knees pulled up to her chin. Licking her dry lips, she answered softly,

"I ain't hungry." She heard her mother sigh.

"Rae,"

"I said no. Go away."

"I don't know who you talkin to but I will break this door down. I ain't Minako." She hid her face in her lap.

"I don't want no food Ma." Her mother leaned against the door.

"Well what do you want?" Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I want Hiroto. I miss Hiroto." Her mother sighed again and shook her head. It had been weeks and still this child cried for that boy.

"You have to come out of that room Ebere. Bein in there is not going to make it better."

"If I come out will he be there?"

"That boy is in Japan. You'll never see him again. I tried to tell you honey. I knew this would lead to heartbreak. Falling for those foreign boys always leads to disaster. I told you you were moving too fast and you did not want to listen to me."

"Ma.... you don't get it..."

"What I get is that you said you was gon live happily ever after with him. And what became of that fantasy?" There was silence.

"Rae, you have to accept the fact that he only dated you because you were a foreigner and it was exciting to him. Accept it and move on. There is nothing more you can do. Sittin in your room weeping over some boy who wasn't deserving of you is not the Marshall way. Nor is not eating."

"You're wrong."

"Sweetie, he gon back to his own kind honey. It's time you get back to yours and leave that boy and all the misery he left you with in the past. It's time to rebuild."

******

What her mother had said had broken her heart. She had expected her to take her side but instead she had hurt her with her words. Because of that... because of how her family reacted once she came back... she had cut them all off. Tre. Amee. The rest of her sisters and brothers. Her parents. She had stopped talking to all of them for a while. She couldn't deal with it all. The heart break. On top of layered past pains.

She had started counseling once she entered college. And while there had met a fellow short girl by the name of Leah Williams. Lee as she called her was just as spunky and unbeknownst to others had a story too, just like her. Through college, they had become really good friends, almost sisters. She smiled. Speaking of Lee, she hadn't talked to her in so long. She was long overdue for a phone call. Maybe some time when it wasn't too late. She got up and went into the bathroom to wash her face. She wondered how long she had slept. Her phone blinked in the next room, probably 100 missed calls by now from Kwasame. She sighed and returned to bed. Sure enough, when she glanced at her phone there were 50 missed calls and about 30 voice messages. Rolling her eyes, she pursed her lips. This man was acting like he was a high schooler. If she wasn't still tired, she'd be irritated at the fact that he actually called her this many times. The clock read 2:15 am. She'd slept pretty good till now. She laid her head back down, tightened her scarf on her head slightly and closed her eyes. She deal with it all later.