𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 🩸

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 - 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐬

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

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   There's a storm going on inside of me. The type of storm that destroys everything. The type of storm that causes damage. The kind you'll never recover from. I lay in my bed, tears slowly dripping down my face. I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths. The storm takes control of me. The girl I used to be is gone. She's died. Along with the rest of her identity. The only thing remaining is her name. My heart is fading and it'll never come back. I sit up, wiping my eyes. I take one last shaky breath before pasting on a smile.

   I hear a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in!" I know who it is, it's my best friend. My closest confidante. The only person I will ever love. "Hey baby." Rafe says as he approaches me, he presses a light kiss on my forehead before taking a seat next to me. I smile at him, "Hey babe." He's the only thing that seems to make me happy anymore. The only time I'm myself is when I'm with him. He doesn't know about the storm inside of me, he doesn't need to know.

   I run through the shore, Rafe chasing behind me. "I'm going to catch you!" He shouts you, amusement in his voice. "Catch me if you can!" My emotions come in waves, one minute I'll be like this, enjoying my life. The other times I'll be rotting in my bed, not wanting to eat, not wanting to shower. All i want to do is sleep. Soon enough, Rafe catches up to me, throwing me into his arms. I throw my arms around his neck, kissing him. "I love you Rafe." I whisper to him, knowing I haven't said it enough. He smiles softly at me. "I love you too Y/n."

   I've beat this before. I can do it. I know I can. But this time it's worse. I don't even know why I feel like this. I just do. Last year my sister, Ella passed away. She died from a drug overdose. I guess that's when this all started. Every time I go in her room I always see her. See her lying on her bathroom floor, vomit seeping from her half open mouth. The empty pill bottle next to her. They were my pills. My fucking pills. As soon as I saw them I was filled with immense guilt. If I never had those pills she would never had taken them. Ever since that day I haven't touched a pill or any drug. I don't even smoke anymore.

*

   I'm looking through my fathers office, searching for something. He's not home, he won't be until tomorrow. This is the best time. The right time. No one will find me for a whole day. No one will know until it's too late. I can't be saved. I don't want to be saved. Everyone thinks my life is the definition of 'paradise'. Oh they couldn't be more wrong. I find what I'm looking for and head to my sisters bedroom. This feels right. I can finally be with her.

  I sit in her bathroom, back pressed against the bath. I close my eyes and the cold metal touches my skin. His blue eyes flash through my eyes, telling me not to do it. I love you Rafe. I put down the gun and pick up my phone. I'm going to send him one last message. 'I'm sorry, I love you.' I press send and press the barrel of the gun back to my chin. I sigh, thinking of him again. The way his eyes sparkle in the sun. How soft his hair is. How sweet he is to me. He may not be so nice to other people but he is to me. I will forever love him. Even if I'm not here for him to love me. My finger rests on the trigger before pressing down.

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𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟔𝟔𝟎

𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥. 𝐈 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.