The Gentle Giant and the Melancholy Monster

Chapter 4

"Atarah. Wow, you look... good." Sebastian shakes his head in disbelief as he examines my outfit. "I mean, amazing. I mean, that dress is really pretty."

"Thanks, I um, actually had my friend help me pick it out. I know nothing about fashion," I laugh, trying to focus on the doorframe instead of him. I would be blushing so terribly that he would suggest he takes me to the hospital instead of for pizza. I just can't seem to act normal around him.

"Noa?"

"No, actually, an old friend of mine. Jesse. He's actually here right now." Jesse peeks his head out and slowly makes his way down the stairs. I was crossing my fingers behind my back that he didn't say anything to embarrass me the entire time.

Words and formalities are exchanged, boring small talk I didn't pay attention to, and meanwhile, I was admiring the beauty that was Sebastian. He was wearing a simple gray sweater that was specifically tight around his strong arms and made him look even more sexy. Along with the sweater, he had on black jeans and tennis shoes. It was obvious he put in effort when picking out his outfit, but not anymore than usual. He doesn't dress to impress, but the fact that he can say just about anything, wear just about anything, and take me anywhere and make me fall for him even harder was enough to impress me.

"Hey! It's nice to meet you, man. I'm Jesse. Is that your car out there? Nice."

I step closer to Seb without even realizing at first, admiring our height comparison. It made knots form in my stomach as I imagined what kinds of things we could do if we were alone, maybe at his place. Or, a hotel. I began questioning why I even requested pizza when there were so many possibilities. He did say we could do whatever I wanted. Stop, stop it. Bad. Bad thoughts. Impure thoughts. Grandpa Paul is rolling in his grave. Stop it.

"Ready to go?" He asks, smiling softly as he looks down at me.

I flash him a vulnerable smile before looking behind me.

"Yep, see you later, Jesse. You have a photoshoot later, right?"

"Yeah, you can probably come if you wanted to. But, go ahead and enjoy your little date!" He calls out. I just wish he could have seen the desperation in my eyes, begging him to shut up.

"Date? I thought we were just getting pizza," Sebastian says as we talk toward his car.

"Yeah, I know, but that's Jesse for you. It's always so...dramatic." I sigh, getting into the car.

Sebastian didn't seem to mind that Jesse called it a date. Almost as if his question was to playfully tease me. "You know, I hate to be the one to stereotype, but, is he..."

"Gay?" I ask, knowing it was going to be brought up. My parents always used to ask every summer if he had come out to me yet. I've learned not to stereotype anyone from him. "No, he's actually straight. Or, if he isn't, he hasn't told me yet."

"Oh, alright. You know, I was just wondering, cause, I thought he was kind of cute," he blushes.

A familiar knot forms in my stomach, but this time, for all the wrong reasons. Okay, so he called my friend cute. Okay, he's blushing. He didn't start until Jesse came down the stairs back at the house. Don't panic.

Noticing my uncomfortable shifting in the seat, he asks, "Is everything alright? Is it too hot in here?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Thanks again for yesterday. For clarifying. Um, I hate bringing this up now, but I can't help but ask. Is it true you haven't been at school since break?"

He thinks about how he should answer for a moment. 'Well, yeah. I was sick the first day, then took an extra day off to help with the restaurant, even though the business has been so bad. Wasn't necessary. But then, I got... nervous.."