𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 [bsd x reader oneshots]

MULTI | BREAK MY SKULL OPEN

[CONTENT]

This oneshot contains implied/referenced depression, along with a female reader. This is oneshot has not been beta-read. Beware grammar errors.

The translation for the Russian phrases is located at the end. Please read the note about translations at the end of the chapter.

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DAZAI understands. Feeling that instinctual need to release your emotions as your body rages with your mind as if a tear will rip apart everything you've worked so hard to earn. It builds a wall, locking you in a prison of your design. But it shows—the tension in your shoulders, the fog of your eyes, the shallowness of your breath.

He hates it, forced to watch as your body works against you. He's been there before, trapped in his mind. Unable to escape. But he isn't an infamous genius for nothing.

You'd find yourself dragged into a movie marathon featuring your favorites. And while your thoughts raged and your mind cared less about the scenes unfolding in front of you, your body ever-so-slowly relaxed back into him. That was the sign he was looking for. With that, he slipped in another movie, disrupting your comfortable position on the couch and momentarily focusing your brain on the screen. It was a sad movie, one that had never failed to make you cry.

And he'd be right there as you caved, his warm hands firm against your back as you sobbed in his shoulder, fingers drawing circles in your skin as he darted kisses across your adorable, puffed cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay, love. I'm right here."

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CHUUYA knows it isn't wise to keep your emotions bottled up. That has never been a problem for him—quite the opposite. In a way, he almost admires that you're trying to keep yourself together and stay afloat under all the pressure. Almost.

Your emotions are ripping you apart from the inside, making every move sluggish and unsteady, as if you could collapse in on yourself at any moment. And he doesn't like it, not one bit. It's evident to anyone that you're hurting, and he tries not to display his frustration about the fact that he can't do anything about it.

So, instead, he tries something a bit out of his forte. He subtly checks in on you throughout the day, occasionally dropping into your office with water and snacks before gently prodding at your emotional level. Subtle is a stretch—he's trying his best not to back you into a corner, but he can't help his blatant concern.

If you feel ready, he's open for you to talk about anything that's bothering you, big or small. It'd have the caveat of him having the impulse to take care of the issue—that's the type of person he is. He wants to take care of you, and if he can ease your pain, he'll do it—no questions asked.

"You good? Okay, if you need anything, come get me. Got it, doll?"

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FYODOR becomes much softer than he would like to admit. He knows the moment something is wrong, but he also knows that usually, you are completely capable of self-regulating—most of the time. However, as time passes, he can feel the drop in your mental health, becoming increasingly concerned as you stop partaking in basic tasks and self-care.

He has a problem with seeing specific issues as trivial while also not being the most affectionate or attentive. However, he'd brush that aside for now. If he can fix your problems, he will, but he knows that won't completely remedy the situation. You need to release those emotions and relax, and he knows that his absence only furthers your feelings of isolation.

You're persuaded to sit in his lap, not that it took much work, given how touch-starved you are, head resting against his shoulder. He knows you melt at the sound of his voice, especially when speaking in his native tongue, so he sorted through his collection of Russian literature to find a few stories you'd like, even if you didn't understand it.

You wouldn't even notice, your mind too fogged with sleep, as the story shifted. His eyes barely glanced at the page, nimble hands working into the tense muscles of your back as he pressed sweet nothings in whispered breaths against your head.

"Тебе нужно отдохнуть, любовь моя. Я буду здесь, когда проснешься."

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NIKOLAI is much smarter than people give him credit for. But being smart and able to tell what someone is feeling does not mean that you're the best person to resolve their issues, and he knows that. But he still tries his best.

He is known as a clown for a reason; he's an expert on making you laugh. And he'll do anything, absolutely anything, to see a genuine smile on your face. If there's something he hates more than a frown, it is a fake smile—he knows you're faking it, hiding behind a mask in hopes of appeasing him.

And it's not right. He's determined to find something that will pierce through your sadness, and he'll find it. The man is nothing if not persistent. He's gonna make you smile, a genuine smile.

He's dipping and spinning you around your home, pulling you into little dances as he pulls item after item out of his overcoat. Even if you become exhausted, he's still sitting right there with you, letting you mess with various items he has stored up, guiding you back into reality.

"For my next trick, a lovely rose for a lovely rose! Does it spray water? Nooooo."

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SIGMA has no clue what to do. He is completely inexperienced in the art of comforting someone, specifically in a non-professional setting. A part of him wants to shift into that persona, but he finds himself hesitating. You deserve genuineness, not the artificial bullshit he puts on for guests.

He finds himself accidentally being straightforward, much more blunt than normal. But for some reason, it seems to work. The emotions he portrays are truly genuine, and the care in his voice, along with the concern in his expression, does wonders for grounding you.

He's intentional about his actions, making sure that you've taken time off to rest, along with providing you with everything you need or want. But most importantly, he stays with you. He knows that you need someone there with you, and even if he is anxious about his lack of experience, he stays.

And that's what counts. He stays snuggled up against you, watching over you and simply existing with you for a moment. It's nice. No customers. No casino. Just you and him, watching the clouds pass by through the windows.

"I love you. You know that, right?"

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тебе нужно отдохнуть, любовь моя. я буду здесь, когда проснешься = you need to rest, my love. i'll be here when you wake up

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[AUTHOR'S NOTE]

[TRANSLATION NOTE: The translations in this chapter are not guaranteed to be completely accurate. While the English translations in the section above are the intended dialogue, these are only rough translations. Corrections to these will be made over time.]