Nope on the Slope (ONC 2024)

Chapter 11: Revolving Door (Kelsi's POV)

Making up with Scarlett is the last thing I want to do right now. I've screwed up with my two best friends and it's up to me to apologize to Scarlett for our fight and to say sorry to Levi for being interrupted by Justin. I've always wanted Justin but Levi's the one I've gone the furthest with and I can't pretend his hands all over me didn't mean something, because deep down I know it did. It hurts that he wouldn't talk about what happened between us. Now I don't even know if he still wants to be my first or not. I wish I never asked him in the first place. If only I had kept my mouth shut and let nature take its course instead that would have been better in the long run I suppose.

I know where I'm not going today. Going to Justin's hot tub would not be wise today. With Levi's feelings possibly getting hurt I can't give into that offer. However, if Levi intended to abandon my feelings then the door to Justin's is wide open. It's still not worth the risk since my heart is in this game too.

A knock at my door startles me, perhaps the universe has decided which friend I will be apologizing to first. One can only hope, right? I open the door and make sure my hair is pulled back before I scare anyone away with my bad hairstyle.

"Hello, Kelsi. Mind if I come in." It's Orion. He comes into my house with his big black leather jacket and slick jet-black hair. I can see why Scarlett has a crush on him. He's got a sexy look about him that's just not my type.

"Sure, come in. What brings you here today?" I attempt to play it cool. Knowing my luck he already knows about Levi and me. I suppose if I am entitled to tell my best girlfriend when the time comes the same applies to Levi's best guy friend. It's only fair in the grand scheme of things.

"Cut the crap, Kels. I think we both know why I am here. My boy, Levi, is all pissed off. I need to know something and you're going to tell it to me straight."

I love that he thinks he has the right to intimidate me in my own house. His loyalty to Levi is admirable though, reinforcing further why Scarlett likes the guy so much.

"That really depends on what it is, Orion. You aren't exactly in a position to tell me what to do in my own house."

He smiles and takes out a pack of gum. It's minty from the smell. He places the gum between his teeth and starts smacking hard on it. He offers me a piece and I accept it for later. It goes in my pocket for safekeeping.

"That's fair. I just want to know if you were ever planning on taking Justin up on his offer. I think that wouldn't be cool for you to go over there given what happened between you and Levi. You know what I mean?"

So he does know about Levi and me. I'm not sure I'm embarrassed or relieved. It's still not his place to face me on issues of the heart.

"Yeah, I get it. Don't worry I turned Justin down. With all due respect, Orion, I can make my own decisions."

"And while you make those decisions do they include Levi?" Orion smacks down on his gum and makes a large bubble appear. It's a turquoise mess emerging from his face.

"I'm still figuring that out. I'm scared okay, Orion. Why do I have to make decisions today about what happens next?"

"You don't have to decide today. But it's my job to let you know it has a time limit. At some point in the near future you will need to decide who you want to be with. I'm going to leave you with this rhetorical question. Are you in love with Justin or are you in love with your best friend, Levi, despite the pact you once made?"

It's the one question I've known on the inside for a while ever since Levi and I started getting closer and closer. With every inch of his touch I've wanted him more and more and Justin I've wanted less and less. But it's not something I can decide right now. It's too confusing and there are too many variables at stake.

"I'll think about it. If you see Levi, please tell him that what happened between us meant something to me."

Orion throws his gum into the trash. That was short-lived. A large smile grows across his face as he leans in.

"That's a good starting place. At least you are being honest with yourself right now. I'll let him know. In the meantime, keep practicing for the ski trip and I'll see you there this weekend. I'd give Levi space this week to sort his thoughts out. Don't worry he's still going on the trip, I'll make sure of that. Goodbye, Kelsi."

I wave at Orion as he leaves the house. He's right giving Levi space has usually been the best course of action when issues have transpired between us. Then why is that going to be so hard to honor this week at school? Then there's the whole Scarlett drama to sort out. I didn't mean to blow Scarlett off for Levi, but her assuming I fucked him already didn't help my nerves out any.

Orion leaves on his bicycle. He doesn't live too far away. Everyone seems to invite themselves over to my house lately. I remove the ladder from my window as a precaution so Justin doesn't get any more bright ideas regarding us. I'm a little worried about his warning about getting involved with someone else between now and the ski trip. Did he mean it that I would be met with some sort of unkindness if I chose someone else over him? Why does that fate sound like a threat? Why does it sound like a punishment? I don't like the sound of it either way.

Hours pass and eventually, Scarlett makes her way back to my house. She lets herself in. Everyone seems to let themselves in lately. My house has been a revolving door of people, like an airport full of familiar strangers.

"Scarlett, what are you doing here?" She twists her hair between her middle finger and thumb.

"Getting the apology I deserve. Orion told me everything. I can't believe I had to find out from him what's been happening with you and Levi. And don't worry only he and I know anything. If Justin finds out we know all hell will break loose."

I timidly walk over to Scarlett and wrap my arms around her for a brief hug. It's a bit awkward but then I release her.

"I'm sorry we had a fight. I'm so conflicted about my feelings for Levi. I want him but then I am scared of losing my best friend. And then Justin wants me too and that was the original dream. Then you want to go sexy underwear shopping with me for Justin. It's just too much."

Scarlett pulls back and takes out a snack. It's chocolate chip cookies which she only eats under great stress.

"I forgive you and I'm sorry too for the things I assumed about you and Levi. I shouldn't have said them in the first place. That was wrong of me. As for the sexy underwear shopping, it doesn't have to be for Justin. I thought he was the one you wanted. I already told you it's okay if you like Levi. The only people holding you back from each other are each other. You and him are too scared to admit that you have a great potential to be together. Why is that such a crime?"

Why are Levi and I so dead set on not giving it a try? What are we scared to lose? What are we scared to gain? Why am I still curious about Justin Baron and that crush I once had on him?

"It's not that it's a crime. But Justin has finally noticed me. I've always wanted that and now that it's here knocking on my door...I wonder if I'd hate myself for turning it down. I can't do that to Levi though not after all the chemistry we've had together these last few weeks. The ski trip is almost here and I am more confused than ever. For now, I think I will pull back from both of them and focus on practicing my ice skating and skiing so I am not a total fool on the trip."

Scarlett smiles and hands me a chocolate chip cookie. She's not one to share her stress snacks. We must be okay in the friendship department if she's willing to bless me with these.

"That's not a bad idea. How about this? I will help you practice between now and the trip. We forget the boys and get you that sexy underwear and when the time comes for you to use it you select the one you want to wear it for. In the end, you can always wear it for yourself and still be happy."

I see her point, I'm allowed to be happy with just myself in my own skin. I don't need Justin or Levi to be complete, but one of them will be mine by the end of next weekend. A part of me is thinking that I'm leaning more toward Team Levi than Team Justin. If I go that route will Justin's threat carry any merit or was it all empty words? Is there a punishment waiting for me if I don't choose him? I am scared to find out.