Yours to Hold

7 - Lillith

Dammit... Why was I crying? Why did I let those girls get to me so much? Why? Maybe because everything they said was true... My mother abandoned me, and my father left us when I was barely a year old. I didn't understand why my parents never loved me... I remember my father saying that it was all a mistake. And my mother had practically lied about loving me. Was something wrong with me...? Was I not meant to be loved at all?

"DAMMIT!!" I shouted, my voice echoing in the bathroom as I fell to my knees with a hand covering my mouth. I cried then, which I have not done in such a long time. What really set me off was that Andrew stood up for me... Me. Nobody has ever done that before. He may deny that he was concerned, but I was grateful to him.

What seemed like several hours, I finally ceased my sobs and wiped the tears from my face along with the running mascara from my eyes. I was shaking now, unsure of why I was. Standing back on my own two feet, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, then headed out of the bathroom to get to my locker and get my things ready to head out. Looking at the clock to my left in the halls, I saw that I had been having my meltdown for 20 minutes straight. The day was past over, I realized. Cain was probably worried sick about me, I thought. Rushing to get my locker open, I hurriedly gathered my things, grabbed my car keys and rushed towards the front doors of the lobby to see Andrew standing outside, waiting for me. Blinking, I reached his side in an instant, receiving a side glance from him.

"Took you long e-" He stopped his sentence when he noticed the redness of my eyes, and the remains of the mascara on my face. I blinked, unaware of this.

"What?" I asked, wondering why he was staring at me.

"You were crying..." He stated, his gaze surprisingly soft.

Wiping my face, I laughed nervously, trying to deny that fact. "I'm fine! I just had something stuck in my eyes, that's all!"

I heard him sigh, then he gently grabbed my hand and lead me to my car. "No point in denying it. But besides that, we're practically the last ones out of here. Let's get going." he told me.

I felt my face heat up at his hand holding mine. My heart was suddenly pounding like mad, and I didn't understand why. Ignoring it, I realized we had reached my vehicle. Andrew then released my hand to allow me to unlock the doors and get inside the driver's side. He followed suit on the passenger side as we both buckled up and I started the car, driving out of the parking lot and heading back home to Worthing. It was such a long day, I thought. My emotional meltdown didn't really help either. I did not want Andrew to know why I was crying, since he already figured out that I was.

It wasn't long until we reached Worthing, then I heard Andrew speak which broke the silence. "So why were you crying?" he asked, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Does it really matter? Besides, why do you care all of a sudden? You don't even like me, so..." I replied, keeping my eyes on the road with my hands gripped tight on the wheel.

Andrew rose an eyebrow. "That's the thing, I could care less. But I was just wondering." He stated.

My eyes grew large at his first statement. "I could care less." I suddenly ground to a halt at the driveway once we reached the house. "You son of a bitch!" I shouted, unbuckling myself, took out the keys and rushed out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Andrew rushed after me.

"What?!" He demanded.

"You're such a heartless bastard, you know that?!" I let out, slamming the door behind me and rushing down the stairs with Andrew right behind me. I reached my room and tried to open the door only for him to grab my wrist tightly. I turned to him with a glare, seeing that he had one of his own.

"What the hell's your problem?!"

"My problem is you!" I hissed. "You have issues, you know that?! You push everyone around you away by being an asshole! What's your deal? Do you have a problem making friends, or being social? Or even being nice?!"

"Maybe I have a good reason for it!" He retorted.

I shook my head, refraining myself from screaming. "A good reason, huh?! Tell me! Tell me why you hate being around people so much?! What have they ever done to you?!"

"Because if I get too close to anyone, they'll be taken away from me! Just like mom and dad!!" He shouted, making me stagger backwards in surprise. Like his parents...?

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my parents are dead, okay?! There! You happy now?!" He snapped.

My eyes widened in shock. His parents... are dead?

"My parents were murdered," he spoke, this time calmly as if trying to keep his cool. "I was 9 years old. They used to fight constantly about how we would get by, how we would keep a roof over our heads. They wanted a better life not only for themselves, but for me too. They did their best just to raise me, and I was proud to call them my parents. But that night, when they were about to make a compromise, they were killed. By a cold hearted murderer. And don't even think about telling me that you're sorry, because you have no idea what it's like to lose someone that you love!"

I was stunned. He lost his family at a young age... Then again... So did I. Just as he turned to leave, frustrated and angry, I shouted at him, "At least they loved you!!"

He halted, turning to me with a glare, only for it to turn into an expression of shock to see tears rolling down my face.

"At least... At least they made a frickin' effort to raise you. They gave up everything for you. They loved you." I whimpered, not caring if he was watching me cry. "My parents deserted me! They left me here! My father... My father abandoned me and my mother a year after I was born. He said that it was all a mistake. When I was 8, my mother brought me here, to Officer Cain's house. She practically left me here. I remember clinging to her, begging her not to leave me. You know what she said to me?"

Andrew said nothing, which gave me the signal to continue.

"She basically said that she was leaving me here and she was not coming back. She then told me that she didn't want me anymore. In other words, she never wanted me. Or even loved me... She gave me up just like that! And I hate myself for it! I feel like the worst person in the world because I don't know what made her hate me so much! It's been 10 years, and I still wonder why she left me." I started sobbing now, hanging my head low and placed a hand on my face.

"So don't you dare say that you know what it's like... To be abandoned and hated by your own parents that you thought loved you." I added, suddenly throwing myself against the door, trying to open it.

I heard footsteps walk towards me and I felt Andrew's strong hands grip my shoulders, firm but gentle.

"Let me go, Andrew! I don't-" I was cut off by him pulling me against his chest, his arms around me as he held me. I was trembling against him, eyes wide with shock at this.

"Andrew...? Why are you...?"

He was stroking my hair now, trying to comfort me. Relaxing against his embrace, I buried my face into his chest, and started crying again. We stayed like that for a while, just me and Andrew. We were both unaware that Cain was watching us with soft eyes, before turning to head up the stairs.