mentally unstable pt.2 ~ shigadabi

eighteen

Dabi's POV:

I wake up when I feel rustling on the other side of the bed. I quickly turn to my left to find it empty. I throw off the blanket and jump to my feet. Before panic sets in a notice he's sitting on the floor on his side of the bed.

"Mura?" He stares blankly ahead with his leg to his chest and his arms folded over his knees. "Are you okay baby?" I ask softly. This isn't how an episode usually starts. "I was," he mumbles barely loud enough for me to hear. "Or maybe I wasn't. Maybe I was just distracted so I wasn't thinking about it." I sit down on the floor next to him. "Thinking about what honey." 

He covers his mouth and lower his head. I softly rub circles on his back as he starts sobbing. "She's not gonna be there Dabi. Sh-she's not gonna see me get married." I wrap my arms around him and pull him to my chest. "I'm so sorry Tomura." He starts hyperventilating. I tighten my hold on him. "I-I-I didn't even get to se-see her," he wails. 

He was only sixteen when he went to the hospital. He hasn't seen his mom since he was sixteen. And now he never will. 

He slowly pulls away, wiping his face. "I'm sorry," he sobs. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay Tomura. I need you to breathe, can you do that for me?" He nods. I place my hand on his chest. His heart is pounding. "Breathe with me." I take a deep breath and he follows suit. "Good, baby you're doing good. Again." 

We keep going until his heart slows down and he stops whimpering. "Do you feel better?" He nods. I grab his face and kiss his forehead. "I'm gonna run you a bath, are you going to be okay for a minute?" He nods again. "I'll be right back." I get up and go to our room door. 

"Shit, we need to put a fucking bell on you."

Shoto peeks into the room. "Is everything okay?" I close the door behind me. "Yeah, it's fine." His face is covered with concern. I know that look. "I didn't hurt him." His eyes flicker to mine. "I never said that did Dabi, he just-...he sounded like he was in pain." He looks at the door behind me. "Not physically. Just try to go back to sleep, we'll talk in the morning." He slowly nods and hesitantly walks back to his room. 

I go into the bathroom and start the water. I open the cabinet and scan through our variety of soap. He seems anxious so...lavender? Wait, last time the lavender made him breakout. Strawberry should be good. I light a match and light the coffee candle in the corner of the sink. I turn off the water before making my way back to our room. He's still on the floor but he's no longer crying. 

"Are you okay honey?" He nods. I pick him up bridal style carrying him to the bathroom. "I can walk you know." I kiss his temple. "Let me take care of you baby." I softly set him down by the bath and slowly undress him before helping him into the bath. He looks different. He couldn't have lost weight, I would have noticed. But his clothing has gotten baggier, I just thought he was sizing up again.

"Does anything hurt?" I whisper. "My head." His voice is raw and raspy. I run my finger along his collar bone. "Is there something you want to tell me baby?" He softly scratches his wrist. I'm such a fucking idiot, how did I not realize? "I'm sorry," he breathes out. "It's okay, it's okay." How can I not have seen such a clear cry for help? I hold his head close to my chest, drenching my hoodie in water. "It's okay, we can fix it, okay?" I rub my other hand along his scared thighs. I don't know how I would be able to live with myself if he had started cutting again. I could never forgive myself if I didn't spot that shift in him.

I continue to softly touch him in an attempt to soothe him. I wait until I feel his body completely relax before I let out the bathwater. I help him dry off and use a cotton towel to dry his hair. I carry him to our bed and dress him on of my hoodies and a pair of boxers. It was heart breaking to see how much bigger my jacket was on him. 

He wraps his arms around my torso and buries his face in my chest. Our legs get tangled together. I stroke his hair softly and slowly drift into sleep. "Dabi." He hits my chest. "Hm? Wh-what is it."

"The candle."

"Oh shit."