THE CUT

I heard there were some good drugs

2

It took me over an hour to find the right outfit for the boat party. I kept pulling dresses out of my closet until my room was a mess. I spent too much time deciding what I would feel best in, it was too late to clean up.

I lift my dress so as not to get it wet against the grass, and with each step, I sink into the ground. The skies are baby pink and pale blue now, soon to be a beautiful, inky black. The party is about to ramp up. Sophie, from my English class in high school, waves at me across the lawn. I wave back and then catch sight of Kelce's sister and her friends. I move aside to talk to them before I step onto the boat.

She and her friends are driving to the nearest gas station to grab more wraps. Kelce has given her the keys to his car, which has him worrying out of his mind.

I say hello to people as I move through the deck of the boat. It reeks of flowery perfume, spicy cologne, and coconut sun tan oil. I pluck a flute of champagne from a passing waiter then lift my glass so a drunken frat boy gets by without knocking into me.

My body tingles at the thought of Rafe's eyes when he told me I should come. I'm sure he's already at the center of the party, and I'll have to go through everyone I went to high school with to get to him. That's the way it is; to get to the center of the party, you have to make the rounds and work your way inwards.

In the summer, Outer Banks get swamped in gnats; the pesky little bugs that travel in groups around everyone's heads. A cluster of them dance in front of the pale yellow sunlight. Someone turns the music up, and it flips a switch. People's voices grow louder, girls start dancing.

Then I turn and see. It's Kelce's party, but leave it to Rafe to be the life of it. He's sat amid other guys, and girls in skimpy bikinis, all looking to bump a line or get a hit of Topper's "awesome weed." He holds a beer up high with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, and behind a pair of sunglasses, he shouts at everyone, "One at a time. And no exceptions, no bargains."

He starts to tell a story to everyone leaned in, listening, with glassy eyes. I slide up and listen in, but I miss the punchline, and everyone busts up laughing, which makes me feel like a groupie, waiting for him to notice me.

And then Rafe leans into a girl's ear with a smile, and it's a punch to my stomach. They act like old friends, but I've never seen her before. Rafe is comfortable that way around other people, in a way that I'm not. She's pretty, too, which makes me wonder if he wants to fuck her. Or, if he has already.

I'm an idiot. That flirting I did with him at his house, thinking maybe Sarah was onto something when she said she thought Rafe likes me. But she doesn't know Rafe. They barely talk. And it was only what she thought. I'm a friend of hers, and I'm a girl, and I'm a Kook. Rafe invited me here because I make the party look better, which should make me feel good. But it doesn't.

He probably invited all these other girls. He, Topper, and Kelce probably made a plan to round up as many girls as they could to show up at one of the first parties of the summer.

Rafe looks up and sees me.

"Hey! Y/l/n."

He raises his beer. He nods at me to come over, but it's too cramped, so he pushes through everyone to get to me.

"You came," he says. "You just get here?"

"Yeah."

In the shade, the air stands still and thickens.

"Hey." He shouts for everyone's attention, and because he's Rafe, everyone gives it to him.

"Does everyone know Y/n?"